December 14, 2011

Okay, it’s Tuesday and that means it’s that time of the week to venture out and see if we can find a bar that still utilizes a swizzle stick in their cocktails. There’s not too many decent bars around where I work, a lot of them are what I call, “cookie cutter” bars. Generic saloons without much personality to them. Well I just found a place nearby that doesn’t look too bad and it appears to be a little on the fancy side, so maybe we’ll score a swizzle tonight. The bar is called Stitch Bar & Lounge and it’s a New York magazine critics pick. So let’s go see if a Stitch in time produces a swizzle stick.

Okay, straight up 8th Avenue for seven blocks and we're there.

This reminds me of that joke: "A dyslexic man walks into a bra." (Rimshot.)

And here we are at Stitch Bar and Lounge. The word "Stitch" blinks on and off and I'm having trouble getting a shot where it's lit.

Goddammit!

Fuck! This is really starting to piss me off!

Motherfucker, it's like the sign is mocking me!

Finally! Let's go in and get a drink, I need one after that!

Holy shitballs, it's packed in here. And it's louder than fuck. I have tinnitus in my left ear and if music is played at a certain level it makes it howl. This music is about two levels louder than that. Plus people are screaming at each other and it just adds to the noise in here. To quote the Animals, "We gotta get out of this place."

Luckily I passed a place on the corner that doesn't look too bad.

It's called the Houndstooth Pub and I think it won't be so ear-shattering inside.

Okay, not a bar I would normally hang out in, but not nearly as loud and it doesn't look too bad.

It's a round, circular marble-topped bar and it's fairly crowded.

I spy a seat at the left side of the bar, so let's snag it.

No swizzle sticks here, just two red straws. Oh well, maybe next week. Wah, wah, wah, waaaah.

Here's the view of the candle-lit bar from my perch.

The specials are written on a chalk board on the wall opposite the bar.

There's a festive Christmas tree in the front area of the bar.

Jeremiah Weed? Could this be the stoner cousin of Jeremiah Moss?

And in the end there's...fire! (It's been awhile!) Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Houndstooth Pub
520 Eighth Ave. (at 37th St.)
212-643-0034

Further Reading: Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York, New York Magazine and facecrack.

He’s got to be,
Out in the street.

(Surprise link, click on it...I dare you!)

December 13, 2011

One of the big Christmas attractions in New York City has always been the elaborate window displays at Macy’s. It’s only a few blocks from where I work so that’s tonight’s destination.

It's starting to get colder outside. Luckily it's not that far away.

And here we are, Macy's, the world's largest store.

The theme for their Christmas extravaganza this year is: "Believe." I believe that I'm glad I did all my shopping online and don't have to enter the "world's largest store." Okay, let's check out the window displays.

Lots of contraptions in this one, I can't really figure out what it's supposed to be. It kind of looks like a gynecologist's office on acid.

This one looks like a rendering of a Lady Gaga concert. I'm wondering if Barney's will sue.

This just is a mish-mosh of nothing. They kind of all look the same this year. I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed. Let's take a look around and see what else is going on around here.

Everyone's got their cell phones out taking pictures.

What's scarier than a group of clowns loitering outside of Macy's?

A clown deep in conversation on a cell phone. Oh well, it could be worse, he could be texting, in giant clown fonts.

Here's the Old Navy store down the street. They claim that the "Happiest Holidays are Funufactured Here." I thought a "funufacture" was something you had to go to the chiropractor for.

Knits for $14.95? Eddie are you kidding?

Nothing screams, "fun" like a Leonardo DeCaprio wax statue in the window.

And the Christmas spirit really kicks in when you go next door and have your retinas burned out by the nuclear neon lights at Tad's while breathing in the scent of rancid grilled meat. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. See you tomorrow after dark.

Further Reading: Joys of Christmas, CBS New York and Mashable.

Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling, "Yoo hoo.”

(Surprise link, click on it...I dare you!)

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Bonus Picture From Jaws!

Jaws sent in this festive holiday picture to accompany this post. Thanks Jaws!

December 12, 2011

I don’t eat a lot of steak, but every once in a while I get a craving for it. And tonight that craving has kicked in big time. A while back, MAD commenter and 365 co-pilot, Al, suggested I go to Sparks, a classic New York steak house, which I’ve never been to. That was going to be tonight’s destination, but then I found out they’re not open Sunday’s. Now that’s old school! I’ll have to take a cheeseburger break one of these Saturday’s and try it out. In the meantime, I remembered another classic joint in midtown, Gallagher’s. So that’s where Sunday dinner is happening this week.

Here we are, Gallagher's Steak House.

The meat in the window makes me think of SCTV's 3-D House of Beef.

The main dining room is crowded...

So I decide to sit at the bar.

Will the bartender chats with some regulars at the bar.

Classic red checked tablecloth covered tables line the wall opposite the bar. And there's tons of pictures everywhere, let's check some of them out.

Here's a Gallagher's staff portrait from days gone by.

A signed photo of Paul Newman proclaiming Gallagher's as, "The best!"

Here's Mohammed Ali signing a table.

And here's another boxer, Max Baer who is also the father of Max Baer, Jr. a.k.a. Jethro Bodine.

This clown painting creeps me out a little.

And back at the bar, it looks like dinner is about to be served!

I got the jumbo lump crab meat salad to start it all off. It was really good and the sauce was super tangy. Will told me they use homemade horseradish in it.

And now the main course, I got the signature dish, the 14 ounce prime sirloin steak. They age the steaks for 21 days.

For a side dish I got the sauteed mushrooms.

Now that's a steak!

One of the best Sunday dinner's ever! I had a Budweiser for dessert. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Gallagher's Steak House
228 W. 52nd St. (Near Broadway)
212-245-5336

Further Reading: Wikipedia, New York Times and The Intrepid Travelogue.

And after all,
You’re my wonderwall.

(Surprise link, click on it...I dare you!)

December 11, 2011

Live, from New York, it’s Cheeseburger Saturday Night! Your host this week is Phebe’s with special guest stars Gene and Terry from the BBC and The Ready For Prime Beef Player, Marty Wombacher. And now, please welcome Phebe’s!

Here's the special guest stars for the evening, Terry and Gene from the BBC. Smoopy stayed at home and was awoken by their non-stop texting.

For a snack item, I prepared a tasty, yet simple treat. Something I call, "White Trash Treats." Saltine crackers...

And Sleazy Cheese.

A tasty snack!

We took a taxi to our cheeseburger destination of the evening...

Phebe's!

Here's the dark candle lit front bar.

But we chose to sit at a table with a view of the Bowery.

Here's the view of Phebe's from our table.

Paris was our lovely waitress, here she is with Terry.

And presto, dinner is served! Gene got the Backyard Burger and fries.

Terry got the sliders with Swiss cheese.

I got the same, but with cheddar.

I also got an order of Tater Tots, which turned out to be enough for the table.

Delicious!

Burp.

Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

My Meal
I got the sliders with cheddar cheese. Good mini burgers and I also ordered the tater tots which turned out to be enough for the whole table. It was a good dinner and great service considering how crowded it was there.

In addition to the sliders, there’s seven varieties available at Phebe’s, including: Chipotle BBQ Burger, Bison Burger, Grilled Veggie Burger and a Backyard Burger which is a grilled Angus burger topped with carmelized onions, marinated tomato, pepper bacon and horseradish mayonnaise. The menu also features chicken and steak sandwiches, soup, salads and some of the entrees featured are: Bangers and Mash, Grilled Atlantic Salmon, Macaroni & Cheese and Chatham Codfish and Chips.

Phebe’s has a large variety of bottled and draft beers and lunch is available daily from 11am to 4pm. Brunch is served on Saturday and Sunday from 11am to 4pm.

Cheeseburger Rating
Three Wimpys, a very good burger!

Phebe’s
361 Bowery (Near 4th Street)
212-358-1902

Further Reading: New York Magazine, The Feisty Foodie and Time Out New York.

Trash can murders,
In the black of night,
Trash can murders,
When will it be alright.

(Surprise link, click on it...I dare you!)

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Bonus Christmas Present From Lex!

I got a package yesterday from Canada and it was a Christmas present from my friend and occasional MAD guest star, Lex!

She sent me official Canadian mittens! Perfect as it's just starting to get cold here.

Lex's daughter, Lizzy designed this one of a kind Christmas card.

I put it in a place of honor, on top of my refrigerator between Pokey and Gumby! Thanks Lex and Lizzy, I can officially start the holiday sneezin' now!

December 10, 2011

Yesterday I wrote about how Gabe Stulman single-handedly wrecked Fedora, so today I thought I’d check in on a place that’s going to have a happier ending to their renovation, The Waverly Diner. Back in the fall I went and discovered boards on the windows and the neon unlit. I expected the worst—Starbucks, T.G.I. Fridays, 7-11, Chipotle...but lo and behold, it looks like it’s going to be open soon and with minimal changes. Here’s the advance photos and story at Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York. I haven’t been by there for awhile, so now I’m curious as to when they’re reopening. I thought I’d go there and check it out, it would be great if it was open!

Well, it's not open yet, but curtains are up and the neon signs are back.

I wonder when they'll finally reopen. It's been closed since July, that's a long time for a renovation.

The neon signs were taken down at one point and I thought that was the end of this place. Nice to see them back, I can't wait to see them lit up.

And I'm not the only one curious about what's happening inside either.

These three guys were checking it out and trying to peer over the paper covering the window.

Here's a shot I took from holding my camera above the paper. It looks like it could open any day now, I'll keep checking.

Since I was in this neck of the woods, I thought I'd walk over to the space where one of my favorite bars, The Stoned Crow used to be. I haven't been there since there closing night last New Year's Eve. I wonder what's in there now? It's right down the street here, let's go see.

Nothing's moved in here. This is what kills me. Betty, the owner of The Stoned Crow told me that the landlord drove her out by raising her rent so high she couldn't afford it. So she had to leave and now it sits vacant. Is this better for the greedy landlord? It doesn't make sense to me.

That's where the Stoned Crow sign used to hang. Now it's just a patch of brown on a vacant basement.

Smile, you're on MAD camera. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Further Reading: New York Magazine, MAD and 365 Bars.

Holidays and salad days and days of moldy mayonnaise,
Caress me Aunt Jemima.

(Surprise link, click on it...I dare you!)

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Bonus Linkage!

My friend Phil Luciano wrote a great tribute to Mike’s Tavern bar owner, Tony Ward. Check it out here: One of a kind, times two.

If you live in New York and are out and about today or next Saturday or Sunday, CBBM documenter, Spike and his wife organize a hand-made, gifts and crafts holiday fair at d.b.a. Check out the information at this post at EV Grieve: 7th Annual d.b.a. Holiday Fair.

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Bonus Art By Jaws!

Jaws sent in this artwork to accompany the post. Nice one, Jaws, thanks!

December 9, 2011

It’s been a little bit of a weird week for me. At the start of the week I got the sad news that my friend, Tony Ward, the owner of Mike’s Tavern which was the last stop on my bar crawl died. The next night I met friends at Bill’s Gay Nineties piano bar, a beloved midtown piano bar that is being threatened to be taken over by yuppie assholes who will surely gut the tavern and ruin it. A practice I refer to as: “Fedoradizing.” I invented that word after businessman Gabe Stulman bought the once wonderful, West Village bar/restaurant named after the lovely and beautiful owner, Fedora and then promptly bulldozed the place, took out everything that made Fedora’s charming and turned it into a shiny, shitty, plastic, yuppiefied, foodie facade of what it once was.

The  greedy money-men that are trying to get their filthy mitts on Bill’s will do the same, I’m sure. The first thing to be tossed on to the scrap heap will be the piano—the heart and soul of Bill’s and then all the vintage photos and posters and finally the bulldozer comes in and then...voilà...they’ll turn it into a place that has all the unique charm of a T.G.I. Fridays with a thyroid condition. Why would someone ruin something that’s already perfect? The answer to that question is the punchline to the following old joke: “Q. Why does a dog lick his own balls? A. Because he can.”

Anyway, the thoughts of Tony’s death and the possible impending doom of Bill’s led me to think about when Fedora died, and how Gabe Stulman did nothing that I know of in her memory on the day and weeks following her passing. No condolences or tributes were posted on their website and I called there the night when the news came out and asked if they were open and I was told they were. I questioned if they were doing anything in Fedora’s memory and was told that they had no immediate plans, but maybe they would do something down the road. I have a feeling that that road is mighty long and nothing’s happened on it yet. All week I’ve been wondering if there’s at least a picture of her or something honoring her and the fine institution that was once, “Fedora’s.” I thought tonight I’d go there and see. Prepare your barf bags, this ain’t going to be pretty.

And it's off we go, it's starting to get cold outside. Brrrr.

And it's down into the bowels of the subway we go.

Wow, look at this ancient device. It's a giant cell phone that doesn't move. Fascinating!

All aboard!

Here we are in the West Village, time to take that sad walk to Fedora's.

There’s the new sign that Gabe Stulman put up. When I talked with Fedora shortly before it closed she told me that the new owner promised her two things: They’d leave the original neon sign up and they’d close early during the week as Fedora did out of respect for the neighbors living on the block. Right before it reopened, Gabe Stulman took down the original sign and replaced it with a new one claiming the original was crumbling away and couldn’t be restored. It’s weird, it looked fine to me when I looked at it shortly before Gabe ripped it out. Hard to believe it couldn’t have been fixed. Oh and while Fedora closed around 11:00 pm on week nights, he changed the hours to 2:00 am. He did promise Fedora he’d close early, I just think he forgot to tell her it would be early in the morning, not evening.

Its closed for a holiday party. Ah, just saves a trip to a place that's sold its soul to the devil. I looked in the window and it's no different than the last time I was in here.

You know, since this place no longer bears any resemblance or feeling to the original Fedora’s, they should just change the name of it altogether. To me, It’s an insult to the memory of what Fedora’s used to be. The name should be something to suit Gabe and his “Little Wisco” playmates, I’m just thinking off the top of my head here, but perhaps something like: “Cheddarhead’s Amnesia Factory.” Oh and pay no mind to that slurping noise you hear...that’s just Gabe Stulman, licking his own balls. Because he can.

Further Reading: Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York, The Half Empty Glass and 365 Bars.

Don't it always seem to go,
That you don't know what you've got,
Till it's gone.
They paved paradise,
And put up a parking lot.

(Surprise link, click on it...I dare you!)

---------------------------------

Bonus Art From Jaws!

Jaws sent in this artwork to describe how he feels about the new Fedora. I feel your pain, Jaws! Thanks for sending it in!

December 8, 2011

Tonight I’m heading out with the Chillmaster for a few drinks at the International Bar. Four words says it all, “Why the fuck not?”

Another rainy, chilly-ass night in New York. This weather has been rotten lately. I think I'd prefer snow.

Okay, through the magic of the internet you're spared a subway ride that was a lot drier than it is here in the East Village. Let's get to the Chillmaster's, I'm wet outside and dry on the inside.

At first I was a little worried when I saw the Chillmaster window closed, but a quick knock and...

I'm inside with the Chillmaster who is well stocked for the night. We have a few pre-International Hennesy's...

And then it's time to hit the road.

It's cold out, so Gumby's got the fur action going on.

After a cold and rainy walk up 1st Avenue, we finally make it to the International Bar.

Ahh, it's great in here, one of the darkest bars in town.

And Eric was there at the bar. We got drinks and relocated up to the front window seats.

Three stooges at International Bar.

The windows were steaming up from the cold and Eddie the doorman was drawing something on the front door.

I'm going to title this: "How much is that doggie in the window?"

Meanwhile Eric and the Chillmaster are hanging back in our area of the bar.

The Chillmaster points out we've got our own blank canvas of a window.

And this is our message for this Thursday: "Chill!" Goodnight and see you tomorrow after dark.

Further Reading: The post that started it all: EV Grieve.

Booker-Loo.

(Surprise link, click on it...I dare you!)

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Cardboard Box Man Mutation Sighting by Spike!

Spike sent in this latest CBBM mutation sighting along with the following words of wisdom: "Bathroom at boom boom room in standard hotel (work event I swear!).  He's kinda goofy looking, maybe hoping we will drop our guard.  Never I say!  We must always be vigilant!" I agree! Thanks, Spike!

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Leo The Barge Cat Needs A New Home!

If you live in New York and are a cat lover, a cat that was rescued from a barge last summer needs a new home. The story is over at EV Grieve right here: Leo Needs a New Home.

December 7, 2011

Last week I wrote about being concerned about Bill’s Gay Nineties bar in midtown. It seems they’re having a bit of a scuffle with their landlord and I thought I’d go and ask the bartender a question or two and of course have a few drinks in one of the few decent bars in that part of town. Well, I forgot it was the night that they were lighting the tree in Rockefeller Center and there was a ton of people in Bill’s. It was so crowded I couldn’t even get to the bar to get a drink, so I thought I’d try it tonight on swizzle stick night. Bars usually are a little less crazy on Tuesday nights, so let’s go see how we make out this week. Oh and there’s a few special guest stars that are going to be there as well, so let’s get going!

It's a drizzly, rainy night out tonight.

On nights like this I always hope that Eddie Rabbit's in town because he loves the rainy night.

Personally, I like looking at the tall buildings when there's rain and it's a little foggy out. Manhattan kind of looks like London on these nights.

And here we are, back at Bill's. Let's see if we can belly up to the bar tonight.

And look who it is, our friend Elliot Paul at the piano!

Elliot's a fun guy and a true piano man. He really adds a dimension of fun to the bar.

And tonight I'm able to get a drink, there's no swizzle, but I was able to talk to the bartender about the rumors of Bill's closing due to problems with the landlord. He told me that everyone there remains hopeful and they don't have plans of going anywhere. Time will tell, but for now, my advice is to stop in to Bill's, get a few drinks and help keep this classic midtown bar alive. Nobody wants a Monkey Bar II on this block.

And look, here's two of the aforementioned guest stars, Lindsay and Shawn!

And here's the Duncester, the party's complete!

The bar is well stocked and lit up for the holidays.

A festive wreath and lights intermingle with the vintage photos on the dark, wooden walls of Bill's.

The tables in the back are filled, nice to see on a Tuesday night.

These women were having a fun ladies night out at Bill's.

A couple dances to the musical styling of Elliot Paul.

And it's time to put the camera down and rejoin the party back at the bar. A great night out, thanks to Lindsay, Shawn, the Duncester and everyone at Bill's for a great night out. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Bill's Gay Nineties
57 E. 54th St. (Near Madison Ave.)
212-355-0243

Further Reading: Lost City, Mitch Broder’s Vintage New York and Jeremiah's Vanishing New York.

Bill I love you so,
I always will.

(Surprise link, click on it...I dare you!)