December 6, 2011

Last year when I did my 365 day bar crawl, there was only one bar I went to twice. That bar was Mike’s Tavern in my hometown of Peoria, Illinois. Mike’s Tavern is the bar that I remember my Grandpa Seitz going to for as long as I can remember. The original ower was Mike Jacoby, and I remember my Grandpa speaking fondly of Mike. Tony Ward bought the bar back in 1976 and Mike Jacoby was never mentioned by my Grandpa again. My Grandpa was a little fickle and reserved high praise for whoever was pouring the beer and shots at Mike’s Tavern. From 1976 on it was Tony Ward and the high praise from my Grandpa was well deserved. He took good care of my Grandpa as time marched on and watched out for him. I’ve thanked him many times through the years for this.

Last year I was continually asked asked what bar was going to be the last one on the 365 bar crawl. I had established a rule that I could revisit a bar on that day. From the very beginning, I knew it had to be Mike’s Tavern. I called Tony a few weeks prior and told him and he was excited that Mike’s would be the last stop on the bar crawl. When the day came, there was a sign outside congratulating me and Tony was the first person who’s hand I shook. I probably could’ve gotten more publicity by going to a bar in New York, but I didn’t care, it had to be Mike’s Tavern. It was a great day and Tony set it all up and I’ll be eternally grateful to him for such a great closing day. It couldn’t have been any better and the person to thank for that is Tony Ward.

Yesterday I got an email and it was a link to Tony’s obituary in the Peoria Journal Star. It seems Tony passed away on Sunday, December 4th. He was 62-years-old. Condolences to Tony’s wife, Donna, his daughter, Shannon and the entire Ward family on their loss, I’m so very sorry.

I don’t know what happens when you die, but I hope somehow Tony and my Grandpa Seitz are drinking a beer together right now.

I’m going to have more than one tonight in Tony’s honor. Cheers to Tony Ward, a great barkeep a wonderful guy and a friend to many in West Peoria and beyond. You’ll truly be missed, Tony. R.I.P.

Further Reading: 365 Bars, Peoria Journal Star and Peoria Bar Review.

To everything,
Turn, turn, turn,
There is a season,
Turn, turn, turn.

December 5th, 2011

It’s time to start getting in the Christmas spirit here at MAD, so I thought I’d wander over to the Santa’s Village at Union Square Park and then share a magical true Christmas story with all of you. So that’s what I’m going to do.

Bagpipes in the park, it kind of sounds like a pack of lambs in heat. I put a dollar in his tip box, but he continued playing, so it's time to move on.

And here we are, Santa's Village. I don't think it's officially called, Santa's Village, but that's what I've always called it because it's like a little village in the park. Which always makes me think of this band.

There's lots of people here tonight.

Thanks, but I just had a big sandwich a little bit ago.

Never mind the bollocks...

Here's Elvis and a fat naked lady.

At first glance I thought this said, "Diarrhea Boxes." How ironic that I was quite relieved when I discovered it actually said, "Diarama Boxes."

Why, hello Mrs. Davy Crockett!

Nothing says, "Christmas," like a bunch of old locks.

And "Rosebud" seems like the perfect place to end this journey and begin the Christmas tale below.

A Moment Of Christmas Magic In New York City
It’s hard not to get caught up in the Christmas magic in a city like New York. Even the most hard-hearted cynic cannot ignore it. It kind of melts your heart, like cheddar cheese on a Ritz cracker sentenced to five minutes under a broiler by Andy Griffith reprising his role as Sheriff Andy Taylor.

The other night when I was going to see the tree at Rockefeller Center was one of those nights. I got off the subway at 50th Street and started casually strolling towards the big Christmas tree. As I walked down the street I noticed a huge pile of garbage taking up half of the sidewalk. I stopped and then looked over and saw a homeless man sleeping on a filthy, oily sleeping bag right in front of the Tad’s Steakhouse that’s there in the middle of the block. He had dirty, raggedy clothes on and a big white beard, not unlike Santa Claus’s. Except his was really greasy and probably had a large family of lice doing the Charleston Two Step inside of it. It was then I noticed a growing puddle of urine emanating from his crotch area.

I stood there in the middle of the sidewalk watching a passed out bum pissing his pants and took in the combination scent of rancid grilled meat from Tad’s, rotting garbage behind me and the unique odor of fresh hobo urine rising right in front of me. It was exactly at that moment that I thought: “You know, this really is a magical time of year!”

Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Further reading: EV Grieve, Public Urination and Funny Or Die.

Father Christmas, give us some money,
Don't mess around with those silly toys.
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over,
We want your bread so don't make us annoyed.

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

December 4, 2011

Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night Cheeseburger. Your host this week is Social Eatz and featuring the Ready For Prime Beef Player, Marty Wombacher. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your host, Social Eatz!

Over the river and through the woods...

To Social Eatz we go. Let's go in and check it out.

It's long and narrow in here, kind of a shotgun space.

There's tables off to the right...

But I chose to sit at the bar, just like they say at the Aged Home for Nuns, "old habits die hard."

Sitting at the bar was a wise choice, here's the pretty and friendly bartender, Hannah.

She quickly served up a giant can of Sapporo beer. See, I do drink other beers besides Budweiser!

A view of the restaurant and bar from the back.

The lit up bottles behind the bar.

Here's some of the draft beer selections available at the bar.

Hannah busy behind the bar.

And dinner begins! Hannah suggested the crispy spring rolls for an appetizer, so who am I to refuse such a suggestion?

This was a good suggestion from Hannah! The roll was crispy on the outside and filled with chicken, mushrooms and scallion. And the sweet and sour dipping sauce was delicious.

And here's the cheeseburger with a side of Korean cole slaw, the main course!

It's got bacon, lettuce and a special house made sauce and is a great cheeseburger!

I also got a bowl fries. They were crispy and the cheese dipping sauce was spicy and a nice compliment to them. A great meal!

And what the hell, I haven't had an obligatory bathroom mirror shot in a while, so here we go! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

My Meal
I got the only burger at Social Eatz that comes with cheese, the Social Burger. It was topped with cheddar cheese and bacon and the burger is served on a bakery fresh sesame potato bun. It was juicy and a delicious cheeseburger. The only thing that bothered me was the name of the homemade sauce that accompanies it, it's called, "Longetivity Sauce." For some reason that bothered me.

There’s five other burgers available at Social Eatz including one of their signature dishes, the Bibimbop Burger, which is ground beef with a slow cooked egg on top and served with pickled carrot, lettuce and cucumber. The other two signature dishes are: The  Imperialist Hot Dog, which is made with organic chicken and served on a toasted bun, topped with sweet and spicy relish and The Kung Pao Sandwich which is a combination of soy-sesame marinated organic chicken which is then iron-seared with Thai chili and topped with roasted peanut spread. There’s also three types of tacos available and several appetizers including: hot wings, ribs and crispy spring rolls.

To wash it all down with there’s specialty cocktails, wine, half a dozen draft beers and 18 varieties of bottled beer available.

Cheeseburger Rating
Three Wimpys—a very delicious cheeseburger, indeed.

Social Eatz
232 E. 53rd St. (Between 2nd and 3rd Ave.)
212-207-3337

Further reading: NY Times, NY Journal and Two Fat Bellies.

I get a thrill when I think how it really is,
No one can ever take that away.

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

December 3, 2011

They just lit the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center, so I thought that would be tonight’s destination. And just  so you know, this year’s Ho, Ho, Ho is translated into this.

It's only twenty blocks away, but it's kind of cold out tonight, so I thought I'd take the subway. Here we are at the ass end of Penn Station.

Ho, Ho, Ho!

Six minutes till the next train. No worries though...

Time flies when you're on this magical thing I like to call the "internet." All aboard!

And here we are in midtown. Ah, festive piles of garbage, a Christmas miracle in midtown!

Radio City Music Hall is all decked out in Christmas glory.

We're getting close, it's crowded, but people are moving at a decent place and it's not a clusterfuck crowd.

And here we are. Here's someone taking a picture of the tree.

And here's the tree. That's one big tree, huh?

But once you take a picture of it, you realize, there's not much else to do here.

Extreme close up!

I noticed people posing for pictures, so I thought I'd take pictures of them. I think she has to go to the bathroom.

I started off taking a photo of her, because I thought she was cute and then noticed this guy off to the right.

The back of his shirt said, "Bah, Hum Bug..."

And the front made the whole trip worthwhile! His name is Anthony, but I like to call him, "Father Christmas." What a festive fellow! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Further reading: Rockefeller Center, Washington Post and ABC News.

The time is now, the place is here,
And the whole wide world is filled with cheer.

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

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Bonus Links From Gene!

MAD commenter and frequent guest star, Gene Rubbico sent in some links he shot of Macy's Christmas windows a few years ago. Check them out below, thanks Gene!

Macy's Window One.

Macy's Window Two.

Macy's Window Three.

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Bonus Link From Ruben!

MAD commenter and pal, Ruben Dutch sent in this link to a McRib gallery. Thanks, Ruben, I'm trying to lose weight and this has scared me away from food for the day!

It's McRib Time!

December 2, 2011

My friend Jon Hammer plays in a band called Susquehanna Industrial Tool & Die Co. and I’ve been trying to see them live for quite a little while now. Jon and Karen McBurnie are the publishers of the fine online publication, Grade “A” Fancy (they have a wonderful new edition out, check it out here: “Algebra of Ordering.” Well, tonight Jon has informed me that Susquehanna Industrial Tool & Die Co. are playing a gig at the Manderley Bar in the McKittrick Hotel, which is hosting a theater production of, “Sleep No More.” I’m working too late to attend the play, but I should be able to catch the band’s show, which starts at 10:30 pm. According to the band’s website, “ballads, boogies and blues,” is what they do. So let’s go see them do these things they do.

The bar is on 27th Street between 10th and 11th and it sounded like a short walk from where I work, but I rarely venture westward past 9th and realize that this is a little bit of a haul. At least it's not freezing out, so far we've been lucky this winter.

And here we are at the Manderley Bar. It's a little swanky here complete with a doorman who told me I could take a picture of the sign, but once inside, there's no pictures allowed.

Sheesh, kind of a "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service," moment. Looks like I'll have to keep the flash off of the camera.

Wow, the place is packed and it's really dark in here.

The walls are draped in red linen and the lighting is low. At first I had a mini panic attack as I didn't see a bar.

Aaahh, here it is. It's about three deep, so it took a little while to get a beer, but finally I got one, it's pretty crowded in here and a little rough to maneuver around.

So I found a corner of the room near the bar, drank beer and stared at this lamp that reminded me of the Christmas hats they wore in the film, "The Ref," which is more than ironic if you read the first reference to the IMDb information about that movie.

After being tranced out by staring at that light and drinking beer, I'm awakened by the entrance of Susquehanna Industrial Tool & Die Co!

Nice to see I'm not the only one breaking the "no photos" rule.

From left: Garth on doghoue bass and harmonies, Michael on lead guitar and vocals and Jon on rhythm guitar and harmonies. They're a tight band, but lots of fun as well.

Chrome dome alert!

It may seem like a lean line up with only three instruments and no drums, but this rockabilly boogiefied trio really packs a punch. Michael is a funny and witty, carnivalesque front man, a great singer and plays stinging solos. Jon and Garth are a powerhouse rhythm section and add whomping, stomping harmonies to the mix. Check the dates on their website and see them if you can, you won't be disappointed.

The Susquehanna Industrial Tool & Die Co. Great show, guys! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Further reading: Jalopy, Reverbnation and facecrack.

Don’t try this at home, kids,
Don’t try this at home.

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

December 1, 2011

The last couple of days I’ve been reading disturbing news about the classic midtown bar, Bill’s Gay Nineties. First I read a report on Lost City via Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York that Bill’s may be sold to some jerkoff who used to be a chef at the horrible Waverly Inn. Now today I read that they’re declaring Chapter 11 bankruptcy to stay afloat and hopefully keep the sharks and yuppie owners at bay. This is a classic New York bar and I’d hate to see it get remodeled and Fedoradized. I thought we’d stop there tonight and see what’s going on.

It's colder out tonight, but at least it's not raining.

Sometimes I see things that freak me out and it's hard to walk away from them. This is one of those times. A weird plastic glove on a stained abandoned office chair on the sidewalk. Almost scarier than the Cardboard Box Man. Okay, time to move on.

And here we are at Bill's, let's go inside and see what's up.

There's classic wooden saloon style gates leading you into the bar.

And there's a familiar face behind the piano!

It's Bill's resident piano man, Elliot Paul. I met him last year on the bar crawl and was amazed that he remembered me. He really gets the crowd going and adds to the charm of Bill's.

The bar is packed tonight. I had forgotten they were lighting the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center and Midtown is loaded with people. I'm having trouble getting a drink, but glad Bill's has a good crowd.

I'm not having much luck at this end of the bar either. I can't squeeze my way up to the bar to get a drink and the bartender is really busy.

I decide to take a few photos and come back next week when it's less crowded and see whtat the bartender and the people working here have to say about the fate of this bar. Here's some vintage boxing photos hanging over the bar.

There's green checkered covered dining tables opposite the bar.

Broadway ads from days gone by line the walls.

Elliot's got the whole place singing along and dancing as I make my way to leave.

On my way out I spy a real relic from the past. a telephone booth.

The phones been ripped out, but people probably sit in here and text now. Stop by Bill's and enjoy a slice of a real New York bar while you can. It was crowded tonight, but one night's crowd won't pay for what they owe in back rent. Goodnight and see you tomorrow after dark.

Bill's Gay Nineties
57 E. 54th St. (Near Madison Ave.)
212-355-0243

Further reading: New York Magazine, Crain’s and 365 Bars.

(Don't mess with Bill) ‘Cause he's mine all mine,
(Don't mess with Bill) I say it one more time,
(Don't mess with Bill) Hey yeah yeah yeah.

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

November 30, 2011

When Gene and Smoopy of the BBC were here a couple weeks ago, we stopped in for a quick drink at Rolf’s and I noted at the post I was going to come back for an official MAD visit. Tonight’s the night I go out in search of a swizzle stick and I thought that Rolf’s would be the perfect place to go, maybe they even have some sort of a Christmas swizzle! Let’s go see if a holiday miracle happens in the form of a swizzle stick tonight!

It's a rainy, dreary night out, but at least it's not freezing cold, so let's soldier on to Rolf's.

Well, Rolf's certainly can brighten up a dreary-ass night!

A peek inside the front window reveals the blinding Christmas orgy of lights and decorations inside, let's go check it out.

A street sign greets you as you walk in the door to the festive atmosphere.

The bar is crowded for a Tuesday night.

There's no swizzle stick, just a black plastic straw, but that's okay, there's more to see here than a swizzle stick, so let's take a look around.

Here's the back of the bar in all its lit up glory.

Wooden booths line the walls opposite the bar.

And the creepy dolls are still here. Yikes, she's staring at me!

The back dining room is lit up as well. Check out the deer head on the wall, talk about your deer in the headlights!

Here's Santa boozing it up, looks like Rudolph isn't going to be the only one with a red nose tonight.

There's a blowjob joke somewhere here, but I'm not going there.

Here's Johnny who's a waiter at Rolf's.

And another scary doll looking down at me. These doll's are giving me a Twilight Zone Talking Tina flashback.

Let's go back to the bar.

Here's the lovely Milka, who was picking up an order at the bar. Love her smile!

For a nightcap, I got a glass of Rolf's special eggnog, no swizzle stick, but there is a cinnamon stick, so we'll call it an even trade. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Further reading: Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York, 365 Bars and EV Grieve.

Nice to see you, yes...
Oh, Bill Bailey?...
Ah we'll get to that tomorrow night...
Caravan with a drum solo?...
right!...
We'll do that!...
Wonderful!...

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

November 29, 2011

It was kind of crazy at work today and I’m still going in early because everyone’s taking their vacation time. I’m a little beat and thought I would take my Monday sixpack of photos at Chez Wombacher and match them up with videos I think belong with them. I try to go out every night, but what I like about this blog is the freedom to do it from my apartment now and again, so it’s homeward bound we go!

I'm looking through you, where did you go,
I thought I knew you, what did I know?

Hey everybody, did the news get around,
About a guy named Butcher Pete,
Oh, Pete just flew into this town,
And he's choppin' up all the women's meat.

Believe it or not George isn't at home,
Please leave a message at the beep.
Believe it or not, I’m not home.

Well, the first time I lose I drink whiskey,
Second time I lose I drink gin,
Third time I lose I drink anything,
'cause I think I'm gonna win.

Can you spell ashtray please?

I don’t care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I got my plastic Jesus,
Sittin’ on the dashboard of my car.

Further reading: Wikipedia, Schoolhouse Rock and The Six Show.

When he holds my hand I'm so proud,
'Cos he's not just one of the crowd.

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

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Bonus Photos From Biff!

Biff sent in the following photos of the latest Cardboard Box Man mutation sightings. Here's her report: "I was watching Yard Crashers on HGTV a couple of weeks ago and those fuckers actually BUILT a stony, frightening cousin of CBBM! And then today I was walking Lucy and came across CBBM's super friendly and smiley cousin, Twig Man. I like him way better than all the others." Thanks, Bifferoonie, nice to see a somewhat friendly CBBM mutation!