June 18, 2011

I’m too tired to even bitch about work tonight. I found out when I came in that I might have to stay until around four in the morning and damned if that shit came true. Now all I want to do is have a beer or twenty and go to sleep. I was exchanging emails with MAD commenter and one third of the BBC, Gene Rubbico and told him my situation. I also told him not to expect much of a post today. Well he sent me back an email saying that he and his wife Smoopy were just getting ready to go out and hit some bars and that he’d take his camera and send them in. Gene’s a better photographer than me, so I told him that would be great.  So today, Gene takes over the main section of the MAD blog. I was going to call it GAD for Gene After Dark, but then Smoopy thought of GAS’D, for Gene and Smoopy (After) Dark. Perfect! So take it away, Gene, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to GAS’D!

Photos and captions by Gene Rubbico

6:58 pm Banners—Locust Point, MD. The evening begins here!

Bartender Cheryl serves up a fresh Yuengling.

Long Shot of Banners.

Brick, photos and a long wooden railing at Banners.

Outside Banners.

The sun is a settin.' A nice summer night out.

8:36 pm - Down the Hatch - Locust Point, MD - one of the best dive bars around. Let's go in and check it out.

Dee is behind the bar pouring my Natty Boh!

Smokes and cash! It kind of sounds like a movie title!

Down the Hatch—smallest bathroom ever!

Smoops and a longshot of the bar.

Smoops flipping the bird fantastic!

10:02 pm - Little Havana - Federal Hill, MD.

Another cigarette machine. They're everywhere!

Smoops getting our drinks at the bar.

A view from downtown from Little Havana.

On our way to Tiki Barge.

What a nice night!

11:16 pm - Tiki Barge - Federal Hill, MD. A great bar!

View from Tiki Barge number one.

View from Tiki Barge number two.

Who dat?

Oh shit, look what happened to Smoopys car!

12:18am - Shuffles Saloon.

What the hell?

Big Al the bartender greeting us.

Inside of Shuffles bar.

Big Al and Smoopy at the bar.

Goodnight everybody!

What the hell?

Oh shit! UFB!

Further reading: 365 Bars, MAD and the BBC.

You also might like: Jeans, Genies and Jean.

Four Other Gene’s
Gene Hackman
Gene Simmons
Gene Wilder
Gene Therapy

 

Well, she's the girl in the red blue jeans,
She's the queen of all the teens.

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Late Post Alert

Fuck! I had to work until 4am this morning! It's now 5:11 am and today's post will be up late, probably sometime between 2 pm and 4 pm. I think I have a guest blogger taking over the main section for today's post. He generously offered to take pictures of his night out and said I'd have them by the time my shift was over. Nice! But my shift is over and there's no photos! Looks like he found out it's not so easy to be an after dark blogger! Anyway, check back to see if he came through for me. I have confidence he will and look forward to his photos and captions. If not, we can all humiliate him in the comments section! And now, unlike rust, I'm going to have a few more beers and go the fuck to sleep! I hope you had a better Friday night than I did. Thanks in advance to the mysterious guest blogger for today's post!

June 17, 2011

A couple nights ago, lzzrdgrrl, left a comment saying that I should start taking photos of pay phones, as they soon will be extinct. I thought that was a good idea. And sometime in the last week, Goggla mentioned stopping at the Port Authority, which I also thought was a great idea for a post. So tonight I’m combining the two and I’m going to take photos of pay phones on the way to Port Authority bus station.

It's really a nice night out, perfect summer night in New York City.

And here we have the standard two pay phone set up in a shiny booth. Old time phone booths are long gone in Manhattan and I wonder how long pay phones will be around? I never see any one using them.

Sign that sounds like a porno movie alert!

Memories...

There's no times at all, just the New York Times.

Shit, the whole front section is roped off, they must be working on it. I wanted to get a photo of the Ralph Kramden statue in front of the Port Authority.

I explained my situation to this nice fellow...

And he let me in for the Ralph Kramden shot. Pow! To the moon, Alice!

Here's the side doors which are the entrance tonight since the front is roped off.

I decided to check out the bar in the bowling alley here. But I wasn't sure where it was so I asked the lady at the Information booth. She told me to go down the hall and up to an escalator. I asked her if it was still open and she said she didn't know. Little Miss Information, indeed!

My three pay phones at the Port Authority.

Here's the escalator...

And here's Frames bar. I went here for the bar crawl last year when it was called, Leisure Time Bowl and it was a little too shiny for me in here. I gave it an okay review because the bartender was nice to me, but it's not a place I'd normally hang out at.

And not much has changed in here. I'd rather be lit at the bar than vice-versa, the bowling alley's right beyond this, let's check that bar out.

Here's the bowling lanes. They too are lit up and there's video screens overhead, which I would find distracting while bowling. I don't think Ralph Kramden would bowl here.

And here's the bar, it looks like something out of a low rent Miami Vice episode.

The bartender was a real low-talker and I could barely understand him as he told me the bottled beer selection. The only thing I heard was, "Corona" so I ordered one of those, here he is ringing it up.

It's brighter than fuck in here, it's the anti-Al bar!

Some of the draft beers available at this bright and shiny bar.

These beer bongs remind me of the time I drank bongwater to see if it would get me high. To any youngsters reading this, take note: It doesn't, you just throw up immediately.

Here's a bunch of assholes people having what appears to be an after-work bowling party.

I'm really glad I can walk away from this.

Meanwhile, back at the bar, it's still kind of sickening. I chugged my beer and got out of there.

Here's two pay phones on my way out of the Port Authority. I've decided the real challenge is to find someone actually using a pay phone, so that's my challenge for the future. Okay, goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow, after dark.

Further reading: Port Authority, ny.com, payphone.com and Smoking Hot Waitress.

You also might like: Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

Five Famous Bus Drivers
Ralph Kramden
Neal Cassady
Busdriver
James F. Blake
Professor Dungpie,Fountainhead of Enlightenment!

Every day you'll see the dust (Too much, the Magic Bus),
As I drive my baby in my Magic Bus (Too much, the Magic Bus).

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June 16, 2011

I’ve whined so much about my job on here and here I go again. The day started out fine, there was work, but no crazy deadlines and no stress. Then all of a sudden, boom, super rush jobs, problems and out of control stress. Another shitty fucking night and now it’s after midnight and I don’t even feel like going to my Fortress of Solitude. I just want to go home and have one or 17 beers and pass the fuck out go to sleep. I don’t even feel like writing a short story, so I thought I’d pull some stuff out of a magazine I put out a few years ago called Natalie Word. You can read more about the magazine here: Natalie Word.

The whole thing was just a goof, I knew there was no commercial potential, it was just something to do. It was fun, because I did both the issues all myself, from writing everything, to designing the logo to laying out the pages. I can kind of be a control freak when it comes to doing a project like this and it’s fun to do it all alone. I liked the second issue a lot better than the first one. For that one, I took magazine layouts and ads, scanned them and then wiped their copy out and wrote my own, using their layouts as a template. One of the articles came from Time magazine and it was called, “What Would Lincoln Do?” I wiped out their copy and put mine in and for some reason its always cracked me up. Usually when I finish writing something I’ll read it quite a few times if I like it and then move on and never look at it again. For some reason I’ve read the Lincoln story over and over and it still cracks me up. I’ve always thought it could be a Saturday Night Live skit that they run into the ground. (Although I’m hardly the one to be criticizing anyone on running something into the ground. See: Dog, Papaya!) So here it is below along with a few ads I doctored for the second issue of Natalie Word. Enjoy!

You’re in a tight jam, a problem has risen and you think to yourself: “Hmmm...what would Lincoln do?”

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You’re at home enjoying a nice dinner when all of a sudden out of the blue, three masked burglars with shotguns burst in and demand all of your money and valuables.

WHAT WOULD LINCOLN DO?

He’d glance up from dinner, look the burglars right in the eyes and forcefully say, “Hey, I’m Lincoln! You don’t seriously think you’re going to rob me, do you?”

The burglars think for a second and then realize that it would be a huge mistake to rob Lincoln. They leave and Lincoln goes back to enjoying his steak dinner.

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You have a very bad back condition and you’re driving to the hospital in your car when your left front tire blows out. You pull over, but there’s no way you can change the tire with the condition your back is in. A group of unruly, drunken teenagers stop at the scene, but just mock you and refuse to change the tire.

WHAT WOULD LINCOLN DO?

He’d shake his head at the teenagers and then loudly declare, “Hey this is Lincoln here! Now get out of that car and change my tire so I can  get to the hospital for some painkillers. And speaking of painkillers, give me one of those beers.”

The teenagers give Lincoln a beer and proceed to change his tire like they were a pit crew at the Indianapolis 500.

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You’re at Bed, Bath and Beyond and you find a quilt that is marked “50 percent off.” It’s just the thing you’ve been looking for, but when you go to buy it, the cashier says you have to pay full price because that sale ended the day before and the tag was mistakenly left on.

WHAT WOULD LINCOLN DO?

He’d cock his left eyebrow and then forcefully and confidently say to the cashier, “Listen, Tootsie, maybe you don’t realize it, but I’m Lincoln! Now you don’t think I’m paying full price for this do you?”

The cashier realizes the error of her ways and rings the quilt up at the sale price.

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You wake up with a horrific head cold. All you want to do is drink some NyQuil and go back to bed, but you’re all out of NyQuil. So you get up, get dressed and walk to the Duane Reade drug store on 14th street, but you can’t find any NyQuil. When you ask the store manager, he tells you it’s on back order and you’re out of luck.

WHAT WOULD LINCOLN DO?

He’d scowl at the manager and then in loud and angry tones say, “Look, you’re dealing with Lincoln, here! Now get me some NyQuil!”

The manager sends a clerk to the Rite Aid drug down the block to get a bottle and then gives it to Lincoln free of charge.

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You go to a Chinese massage parlor and the woman who greets you tells you it’ll be two hundred dollars for a full body nude massage with a “happy ending.”

WHAT WOULD LINCOLN DO?

He’d scoff and demandingly say to the Chinese woman, “Hey that’s a little steep, you do know that you’re dealing with Lincoln here, don’t you?”

The Chinese woman says to him, “You pay two hundred dollars. I don’t care if you are Lincoln. You’ll have good time and a happy ending, well worth the money. You’ll see.”

Lincoln realizes it’s ridiculous to try and haggle with the Chinese woman and pays her the two hundred dollars. She gives him a massage, stimulates the Lincoln log and this writer is thrilled to finish with a happy ending to this story.

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Further reading: Natalie Word One, Natalie Word Two, Dan London Interview and New York Observer.

You also might like: Bob and Ted and Carol and Alice.

Four Other Celebrities Who Drowned
Brian Jones
Dennis Wilson
Jeff Buckley
Carol Wayne

Oh baby,
Do you wanna dance?

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June 15, 2011

It’s Tuesday and that means it’s time to go to a bar and search for the elusive glass swizzle stick, or even a plastic one will do. I found a bar called Weather Up on Duane St. in Tribeca and they have specialty cocktails and it looks kind of fancy, so let’s go check it out.

We'll be taking a downtown train to Weather Up.

Musicians in Penn Station. They were really good so I gave them a couple bucks and took a picture.

I got up to the tracks and the train had just pulled in. I love it when that happens! Here's some of the inhabitants of my car on the train.

And here we are on West Broadway, check out the full moon tonight. Awoooo!

Here's Weather Up. There's no sign, which I always find kind of stupid and I went inside and it was louder than fuck and full of hipsters. I decided to move on and take...

That lonely walk to another destination.

After wandering a couple blocks I ran smack into The Odeon. This is where I spent my lunch hour during jury duty. Let's go see what kind of swizzle action is happening in here.

There's plenty of seats at the bar.

I order the double gin and tonic and friendly bartender Charlie serves it up.

Sadly, there's no swizzle stick, just the dreaded red stirrer. Oh well, it's still better than the Weather Up place.

Here's a shot of the bar from my perch.

Bamboo stools with red-stitched tops line the bar.

There's iced martini glasses chilling in the middle of the bar.

I love the designs on the tables that are lined up opposite the bar.

And here's the infamous Odeon dining room behind the bar.

Meanwhile back at the bar, Charlie's taking care of business.

And as I look around I see this. Could it be a swizzle stick jar?

It looks like one to me, but Charlie tells me it's used as a big toothpick for olives and fruit garnishes in drinks.

Ah, but what the hell. I'll add it to the collection and give the Odeon an honorable mention for this addition.

And a glance out the window and I'm gone like a cool breeze. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark!

The Swizzle Stick Collection So Far

Thanks to everyone who's sent in swizzle sticks to add to the collection...

And thanks to Jason Hwang for the latest contribution! Nice swizzlers!

The Odeon
145 West Broadway (@Thomas St.)
212-233-0507

Further reading: Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York, New York Magazine, New York City Search and Vanity Fair.

You also might like: Lizards, Blizzards and Wizards.

Four Weathermen
Al Roker
Rollie Keith
David Letterman
Mark Rudd

It’s been a hard day’s night,
And I’ve been working like a dog.
(Thanks to Kari for “suggesting” this!)

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June 14, 2011

Thanks to everyone for leaving nice comments and again, I apologize for missing a day. I’ve got a few things going on in my personal life (yes, I do have one of those!) and it’s fucking around with me a little bit. It’s nothing life-changing, but I don’t want to blog about it and hopefully everything will work out. I appreciate all the nice comments yesterday, it really helped.

Today I’m going to put up the photos of going to PKNY last Sunday night. I was going to go every Sunday and drink my way through the menu, but now I think I’ll go more like once a month, otherwise it’s going to be the same post every week and I think it would get old. But I went Sunday and had a good time and below is the proof!

Due to the summertime, it's still light outside even though it's almost eight o'clock at night.

But inside PKNY it always feels like midnight. It's dark inside and no windows, a true oasis where you can relax and let your troubles float away.

And there's Val down at the end of the bar.

And here's Kigan, Val's bar back for the night. It's time to start the tiki drinks.

Val suggested a strong drink first, so I ordered up the cobra and he and Kigan went into action. Like I said last week, it's like performance art watching these two make a tiki cocktail. Sit back and enjoy the show as they go into action!

And here's the finished product! Nice work by Val and Kigan!

Fred was seated next to me at the bar, he own his own business, Quality Plus Cleaning. If you'd like to talk to him about his cleaning services his phone number is: 914-486-1056.

Areeb and Nikki were enjoying drinks on my left hand side and Val took a shot of them.

And Val serves up drink number two, the Miami Vice. Three words: Philip Michael Thomas.

A shot of Nikki enjoying one of the massive drinks in here.

These people were enjoying themselves in the back and really got into the mood by keeping their sunglasses on!

Val gave me one last drink on the house, but I forgot what to ask what it was. But it was delicious!

And one parting shot with Areeb and Nikki and it was time to call it a night. Goodnight everybody and we'll see you tomorrow after dark.

The Drink List
What I’ve had from the menu so far.
1. Bermuda Swizzle
2. Spiced Duke
3. Hemmingway
4. Papa Doble
5. 1958 Zombie
6. Cobra
7. Miami Vice
8. ????? (On the house cocktail I forgot to get the name of.)

PKNY
49 Essex St. (between Grand & Hester Sts.)
212-777-8454

Further reading: Shecky’s, Off The Broiler and Oyster Food and Culture.

You also might like: Biting Your Nails, Eating Some Snails and Living in Wales.

Five Other Tikis

Tiki Torches

Tiki Woman Lightswitch Cover

Don Tiki

Tiki Barber

Knuckles Tiki Bar

When I go swimming, I am always dressed in style,
'Cause I go swimming wearing just a great, big, smile.

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-------------------------------

Bonus Announcement!

My friends Karen and Jon from Grade "A" Fancy are going to be part of an event tomorrow night called "Drink Think." Sadly I have to work, but if you can make it, you should check it out. Here's the details about the evening that Karen and Jon sent in.

We will be reading (yes we can!) at the next Drink.Think event on Wednesday, June 15, at Lolita Bar (corner of Broome & Allen Sts.). Come at 6:30 to drink at the bar; readings start at 7pm.  We fear it will be packed -- it was listed in Wednesday's Times and in Time Out. Here's the line-up of actual beverage & food writers they're letting us mingle with:

• Betsy Andrews, deputy editor, Saveur Magazine and author of several poetry books
• Talia Baiocchi, wine columnist, Eater.com New York
• Joshua M. Bernstein, author, Brewed Awakening
• Toby Cecchini, spirits and cocktail writer for The New York Times Magazine
• David Farley, travel writer and author, An Irreverent Curiosity
• Karen McBurnie and Jon Hammer, publishers of Grade “A” Fancy
• Karen Ulrich, wine writer
• Megan Wiig, wine ambassador and writer
• And our hostess, Kara Newman.

More info is available at www.drinkthinkreadings.com.

June 13, 2011

TAKING THE DAY OFF!

I went to PKNY last night and had a couple of tiki drinks as I make my way though the menu and that will be posted tomorrow. Today I'm taking a day off though, I have some personal stuff to sort through, nothing crazy, just need a day off. I'll be back tomorrow. Till then, MAD commenter and one third of the BBC, Gene Rubbico sent in these photos of cigarette machines in bars. Enjoy and I'll see you tomorrow...after dark!

Another old time cigarette machine, from Little Havana in Federal Hill, MD.

J. Patrick's Irish Pub -- Locust Point, MD.

June 12, 2011

Live from New York, it’s Cheeseburger Saturday Night! Starring Joy Burger Bar, with a special guest appearace from MAD friend Lisa and featuring the ready for prime beef player, Marty Wombacher. And now, from the West Village of New York City, please welcome Joy Burger Bar!

If you follow this blog, you may recall that a couple of months ago I spent Cheeseburger Saturday Night up in Harlem at Joy Burger Bar and they served up a great cheeseburger. If you missed that post, check it out here: Joy Burger Bar in Harlem. Well, the folks behind Joy Burger Bar have opened up another restaurant and it's close by where I live. It's in the West Village right down the street on 6th Avenue. So it's off we go.

And here we are, Joy Burger Bar. Let's go in.

And here's Lisa, who was introduced to the MAD audience last Easter at the Mars Bar, she's tonight's guest of honor.

Here's Judy who served me up a cold beer. Everybody here is super-friendly in here and it's a great place to hang out at. Even though it's a new place, it's got a nice neighborhood feel to it.

And like their Harlem sister restuarant, a lot of the decorations are Coca-Cola related like this toothpick holder...

And this plane flying overhead.

And here's Nicolas behind the counter holding true to the Coca-Cola theme.

EnJOY!

A long shot of the front counter.

A shot of a couple of the guys working the grills in the back.

This shot's for you, Kari!

An ebony and ivory salt and pepper shot from a shelf on the wall.

And here's the cheeseburgers! Here's Lisa's...

And here's mine. I got carmelized onions, sweet chili sauce...

And an egg on top of everything. This is one great cheeseburger and it's equal to Whitman's.

Tommy, who's one of the owners stopped by our table and said hi. Here's me with him...

And here he is with Lisa. Tommy is a really nice guy and bought us drinks and we had a nice conversation about the restaurant, New York and various other topics. We ended up closing the place.

Before we left I stopped in the bathroom and was thrilled that they have the same Travis Bickle artwork that the Harlem Joy Burger Bar has. Tommy told me that the artist who painted this especially for the restaurant is Uri Shemesh.

And of course this has to lead to the obligatory bathroom mirror shot. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

My Meal
The cheeseburgers here come in three sizes: the munch, midi and maxi. I got the munch which is a three ounce burger served on a fresh bun. They have a large variety of sauces, cheeses and toppings here and I chose the sweet chili sauce, cheddar cheese and an egg on top. The burger was one of the best I’ve had and I’ll place it right up with Whitman’s Juicy Lucy. The fries here are cut fresh every day and are crispy and delicious. In addition to cheeseburgers, Joy Burger Bar offers up steak sandwiches, grilled chicken, schnitzel and salads. Sides including homemade fries, onion rings, chicken fingers and chicken wings. They have beer on tap and a decent selection of wine. Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Wimpy Rating:

Four Wimpy's! A great cheeseburger and you should try it out when you're in NYC!

Joy Burger Bar
361 Sixth Ave. (Near Washington Place)
212-414-9500

Further reading: New York magazine, 89th and Broke and Fork in the Road.

You also might like: Huffing, Puffing and Blowing The House Down.

Other Joys
Joy Behar
Joy Philbin
Oh Joy
Rupert Pupkin’s card

Joy to the world, was a beautiful girl,
But to me Joy meant only sorrow.

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