September 28, 2011

Okay, it’s a traveling day as I drink my way head back to New York City. I fly from Peoria to Chicago and then to New York City. Since it’s Tuesday, I thought I’d try to get a swizzle stick in every city. And it’ll be a good excuse to have plenty of drinks to make the flying a little less nerve-wracking.

Peoria has a new airport, but I'm really just interested in one section of it...

The bar! Let's see if we get a swizzle stick with a double gin and tonic.

No swizzle stick, but as a consolation prize, we do have a green plastic sword.

En garde! I better not take this on the plane, I don't want to be mistaken for an evil-doer.

And speaking of planes here we are, up in the air on our way to...

Chicago! Let's see what the swizzle stick action is like in the windy city at O'Hare Airport.

No swizzle stick but it looks like little green swords are the new swizzles, at least in airport bars.

Rachael was seated next to me and I had a nice conversation with her. She lives in Florida, but it turns out her ex-brother-in-law manages a bar and/or restaurant in New York called Luigi's. At least I think she said he managed it, maybe he just works there and I'm not exactly sure that she said he's her ex-brother-in-law. This is what happens when you drink double gin and tonics from Peoria to Chicago. I've got the address of the place and maybe we'll check it out tonight.

And here we are back in New York Fucking City! I thought about stopping at a bar in the airport...

But I was pretty bombed tired, so I decided to head home and have one beer and hit the hay.

Aaahh...home sweet swizzle! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

And I woke up high over Albuquerque,
On a jet to the promised land.

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

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Bonus Artwork by Jaws!

Jaws was inspired by today's surprise link and sent in this heelarious artwork! Thanks, Jaws!

September 14, 2011

Tonight is Tuesday, which means we go to a bar and see if we can get a swizzle stick. I’m in the mood to go to some place that’s not too crazy, have a couple drinks and just do like my friend the Chillmaster does and chill the fuck out. I decided I’d look for a hotel bar and I found one that sounds perfect, called Bar on 5th in the Setai Fifth Avenue Hotel. New York magazine calls it, “the quintessential hotel bar.” Let’s go see if they’re telling the truth.

And here we go. It's another nice night out tonight, I like this time of year, you don't need a jacket yet but it's not that hot out either.

Scary window display alert! What the fuck kind of toy is that to give to a kid?

Scary window diplay alert number two! Let's call her, Scary Bradshaw.

And here we are at the Setai Fifth Avenue Hotel. Attention P.D.A. couple to the left: There's a hotel right behind you, get a room already.

The bar is right beyond these doors. Let's go check it out.

Holy fuckballs on burnt rye toast! I'm only halfway to the bar and it's noisier than fuck in here and the place is swarming with after work Yuppie assholes in suits and ties. Time to get out and take that lonely walk elsewhere.

I really don't like this part of the city.

It's all souvenir stands with headless mannequins wearing goofy-ass baseball caps.

Okay, we've made it to the Flatiron area and look at this place, it looks promising.

Let's check it out.

A special "Welcome Tuesday" carpet. Nice.

There's a nice circular bar in here and it's nice and dark, I think this qualifies as an "Al approved bar."

And Ashlee, the pretty and friendly bartender serves up the double gin and tonic. No swizzle stick tonight, but after the long walk I've had, I'm happy to have the drink and Ashlee's pretty smile.

A long shot of the circular bar. It's not loud in here and really relaxing. A nice stop.

Check out the mammoth display of lit up bottles behind the bar, impressive!

There's a nice dining area in the back. It's last call, so the place is pretty well emptied out.

A lounge area is located up front, right next to a window overlooking Madison Avenue.

Obligatory mirror shot in round condiment housing thingy on the bar.

Fire! (It's been a while!)

And suddenly...hat's all folks! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow, after dark.

DUO Restaurant & Lounge
72 Madison Ave. (Between 27th St and 28th St)
212-686-7272

Further reading: Jeremiah's Vanishing New York, Eat Big Apple, Open Table, and Urban Spoon.

You Might Also Like: Jelly Rolls, Donut Holes and Dr. Scholl’s.

I've been kicked by the wind, robbed by the sleet,
Had my head stoved in, but I'm still on my feet and I'm still... willin'.

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

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Bonus Photo By csp!

MAD commenter csp sent in this photo, which he calls, "CBM variant." Aaahhh!

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Bonus Photos of Cheeseburger Saturday Night!

Britta has posted photos and text from last week's Cheeseburger Saturday Night. Check it out here: Justice Girl After Dark II.

August 31, 2011

I decided to check out a hotel bar for tonight’s Tuesday Swizzle Stick search. Googling around I found a bar called Forty Four in the Royalton Hotel in midtown. The name alludes to the address, 44 W. 44th St. It’s close enough to walk to, so let's be on our way.

And we're off. Another nice night in New York City. Hard to believe that last week we had an earthquake and a hurricane tropical storm here.

Anybody else find the name, "My Daddy's Pizza" kind of creepy? I don't know why, but I do.

Speaking of creepy, the name of this store should be "Pedophiles R Us."

I walked by the bar twice because there's no sign, just this marker on the wall.

Here's the entrance. Let's check it out.

There's a long hallway and this is a dark place.

There's several lounge pits on the way to the bar. Here's one of them. The photos will be a little on the dark side, since I don't want to pop flashes in a dark place like this.

Here's another lounge area.

There's a square bar in the back of the club.

I chose a seat at the back of the copper-topped dark wooden bar.

A view of the bar from my perch at the bar.

And I found out they have a special swizzle stick drink here. It's called the Queen's Park Swizzle and here's Enid, the pretty and friendly bartender serving it up with a great smile.

Houston, we have a swizzle stick! And it's metal! Nice.

Here's Joshua with Enid who was also tending the bar. Everyone here is really friendly.

As you can see, it's a well stocked bar.

For my second drink, Enid suggested a Vieux Carre, which includes this huge block of ice.

And here's the finished product. It was delicious and loaded with booze.

The check and the swizzle. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

The Swizzle Stick Collecton so far. Thanks to all who have contributed. They're prized possesions indeed!

Forty Four
In The Royalton
44 W. 44th St. (Near 6th Ave.)
212-944-8844

Further reading: New York Magazine, Royalton Hotel, Black Book and Shecky’s.

You Might Also Like: Buffalo Bill, Buffalo River Home and Buffalo Gals.

Four Forty’s
North Dallas Forty
40,000 Headman
40 Oz.
The 40-Year-Old Virgin

For all the squares who get me pissed,
Shitlist,
You’ve made my shitlist.

ARCHIVES

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

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Bonus Photo By Melanie!

Melanie from the fine photoblog, Musings By Melanie sent in this smiling Cardboard Box Man. I think he's on mushrooms! Thanks, Melanie!

June 15, 2011

It’s Tuesday and that means it’s time to go to a bar and search for the elusive glass swizzle stick, or even a plastic one will do. I found a bar called Weather Up on Duane St. in Tribeca and they have specialty cocktails and it looks kind of fancy, so let’s go check it out.

We'll be taking a downtown train to Weather Up.

Musicians in Penn Station. They were really good so I gave them a couple bucks and took a picture.

I got up to the tracks and the train had just pulled in. I love it when that happens! Here's some of the inhabitants of my car on the train.

And here we are on West Broadway, check out the full moon tonight. Awoooo!

Here's Weather Up. There's no sign, which I always find kind of stupid and I went inside and it was louder than fuck and full of hipsters. I decided to move on and take...

That lonely walk to another destination.

After wandering a couple blocks I ran smack into The Odeon. This is where I spent my lunch hour during jury duty. Let's go see what kind of swizzle action is happening in here.

There's plenty of seats at the bar.

I order the double gin and tonic and friendly bartender Charlie serves it up.

Sadly, there's no swizzle stick, just the dreaded red stirrer. Oh well, it's still better than the Weather Up place.

Here's a shot of the bar from my perch.

Bamboo stools with red-stitched tops line the bar.

There's iced martini glasses chilling in the middle of the bar.

I love the designs on the tables that are lined up opposite the bar.

And here's the infamous Odeon dining room behind the bar.

Meanwhile back at the bar, Charlie's taking care of business.

And as I look around I see this. Could it be a swizzle stick jar?

It looks like one to me, but Charlie tells me it's used as a big toothpick for olives and fruit garnishes in drinks.

Ah, but what the hell. I'll add it to the collection and give the Odeon an honorable mention for this addition.

And a glance out the window and I'm gone like a cool breeze. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark!

The Swizzle Stick Collection So Far

Thanks to everyone who's sent in swizzle sticks to add to the collection...

And thanks to Jason Hwang for the latest contribution! Nice swizzlers!

The Odeon
145 West Broadway (@Thomas St.)
212-233-0507

Further reading: Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York, New York Magazine, New York City Search and Vanity Fair.

You also might like: Lizards, Blizzards and Wizards.

Four Weathermen
Al Roker
Rollie Keith
David Letterman
Mark Rudd

It’s been a hard day’s night,
And I’ve been working like a dog.
(Thanks to Kari for “suggesting” this!)

ARCHIVES

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May 4, 2011

Okay, it’s Tuesday and that means time to play, “Where’s My Swizzle Stick!” If you’re new to the blog or have serious memory problems, every Tuesday I go to a bar, order a double gin and tonic in a tall glass (which, if properly made should have a swizzle stick included) and then rate the swizzle stick. I’ll also note the price and quality of the bar and drink (thanks to Gene Rubbico for that idea!)

Tonight I’m going back to a place that holds a special place in my heart, Otto’s Shrunken Head in the East Village. It was the very first bar that I went to on my 365 Bar Crawl last year. Let’s go see if Lani’s working!

It's nice, so I thought I'd just walk there. It's a bit of a hike, but what the hell. Eastward, ho! Sorry for calling you a ho.

It looks like the Cardboard Box Man's family reunion down here.

Irony = Filene's Basement on the top floor of this building.

Fancy psychic window!

Okay, we're about a block away, almost there.

And we're here, Otto's Shrunken Head!

It's Dark Water Tuesday tonight and Father Vincent is your host. Stupidly I forgot to get a picture of him. You'll just have to go for yourself to see him.

Wow, it's crowded in here and people are sparkly. Acid flashback alert!

I found a seat in the middle of the bar. Oh, bartender!

The lovely and beautiful Nell served up the drink...but oh no, it's a plastic straw instead of a swizzle stick!

Nell quickly resolved this problem by inserting a sparkly black swizzle stick (okay, it was a straw, but what the hell, she gets points for trying) plus a little drink umbrella and an orange plastic monkey. Almost the equivalent of a Michael Nesmith swizzle stick! Very nice!

Some of the lit up bottles behind the bar and if you look closely an obligatory bar room mirror shot.

DJ Kage 23 was spinning the tunes and some of them included, Paint It Black, Rock the Casbah and Now I Wanna Be Your Dog.

Some of the beers on tap at Otto's.

A tiki woman on the wall.

Gumby!

Photo booth!

Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark!

Swizzle Stick Rating

Okay, it was really a black collapsible straw, but the fact that mini umbrellas and a plastic monkey added made this an acceptable swizzle stick night. The double gin and tonic was twelve bucks, but I got a buy back after two drinks, so this was a very good swizzle stick night on the town. To Otto's!

The collection so far.

Otto's Shrunken Head
538 E. 14th St. (Near Ave. B)
212-228-2240

Further reading: Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York, New York magazine, Village Voice and Photobooth.

You might also like: Eenie, Meanie and Moe.

Seven Shrinky Links
Shrinky Dinks
The Incredible Shrinking Man
The Incredible Shrinking Woman
Head Shrinkage
Shrinkage
Sigmund Freud
Karen Carpenter

Gotta find my kind of woman,
Oh yeah!

ARCHIVES

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)

April 23, 2011

A few posts ago the Mad list was comprised of legendary filmmaker Ed Wood films. While Googling around I found one I had never heard of called, “Fugitive Girls” (he wrote it and had two brief parts in it, as Pops and a Sheriff.) It looked great! And Jaws commented that he had a copy. So I went to Amazon (yeah, I know, I should’ve tried to buy it locally after all my preaching, but I was in a hurry) and found it on DVD. As I was leaving for work, the package was on the landing in my apartment building, just in the nick of time. It was a real Bonnie Raitt moment. I really felt like dying my hair red and then marrying and divorcing Michael O'Keefe (who's birthday is coming up and flea markets in NYC are closing in honor of it.) But I had to get to work, so I left the package on the landing. Let’s go get it and then it’s: Lights, Camera...Wood!

Okay, this is my block, almost home.

And here's the box on the landing, almost movie time! Let's take it upstairs and open it up.

Wow, this thing is really packed solid!

This doesn't look like a DVD, what is this?

It's the glass swizzle sticks that Jaws sent me! Thank you so much, Jaws! They are really cool and boy do I feel guilty as I haven't sent him the John Lennon drawing he won here the other week. I'll put it in the mail today Jaws, and thanks again!

The least I could do is to put up a link for Jaws' fine book, "Two Fisted Cab Driving Tales." It's a great read and I have a copy and so should you. You can order it here: Two Fisted Cab Driving Tales.

And check out Jaws' online store right here: Jaws the Cabbie Store.

I'm going to start collecting swizzle sticks. Here's the collection so far: The glass ones on the left are from MAD commenter Jason Hwang (I traded a skull shotglass for them), the the Jaws set and last and least the shitty one from Sir Harry's. I should've saved the Blarney Cove straw, but I wasn't thinking. And now, since I thought Fugitive Girls was waiting for us, I don't have a movie for tonight. Well, let's just watch some trailers from YouTube and call it a night.

Here's the trailer for Fugitive Girls, which I'm sure we'll watch next week. “Betrayed by her lover; Pimpkiller; Dope Smuggler; Bank Embezzler; Lesbian—Leader of the pack!”

I love the smell of napalm in the morning...

Do you know what it takes to sell real estate?

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

Mommy...

It just doesn't matter!

He's very clean.

Further reading: Killed by Dreck, amc film critic, Avax and The Deuce.

You might also like: Clown Handkerchiefs, Lollipop Tits and Strawberry Socks.

Five Fugitives
Abbie Hoffman
I Am A Fugitive From a Chain Gang
Robert Vesco
Frank Abagnale Jr.
The Fugitive

Mr. Congressman,
You can’t understand.

ARCHIVES

April 20, 2011

As those of you who follow this blog (and I appreciate each and every one of you) know one of the many blogs I read daily is Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York. Yesterday Jeremiah posted about Sardi’s bar and about how the swizzle stick is yet another vanishing item in our culture. I never thought about it, but probably should, I did go to 365  bars last year after all and I chewed on plenty of those crummy little red plastic thingys they put in mixed drinks these days.

The comments section on that post was quite lively and fun. One anonymous commenter wrote that he had a collection of glass swizzle sticks. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a glass swizzle stick. After I read that I obsessed over it all day. I went to 365 bars in 365 days and never got to see, much less keep, a glass swizzle stick. What a fucking gyp!

So, tonight I’m off in search of the oh so elusive glass swizzle stick. The commenter from the JVNY post mentioned two of the places where he got his, but searching around on the internet, they appear to have vanished. I went back and consulted my bar list. Maybe I got one and was so drunk caught up in my bar crawling duties I didn’t even notice it. I immediately thought of the King Cole bar in the St. Regis Hotel. But check out the picture below:

Plastic! And I paid nineteen bucks for that thing and I don’t even like tomato juice! I only got it because it was their specialty drink. Then I remembered going to the Oak Bar. I went there because they had some goofy-ass drink they had invented called, “The Mel Gibson.” Remember Mel? Remember the phone messages? Aaahh, the good-old pre Charlie Sheen days. Let’s check out my drink there:
Plastic! Motherfucker! And I payed over twenty bucks for that shit and it tasted like three-year old rat piss.

Okay, back to the list. I feel much like an old MTV hit when I say, “Aha!” Sir Harry’s in the Waldorf Astoria!
I had a beer in there, so I can’t be 100% sure, but it’s worth a trip back. The people that work there were really nice to me and told me that Johnny Depp had recently been in and left a 100 dollar tip. You know Johnny Depp demands a glass swizzle stick, so let’s go check it out.

I had to work late and it's after one in the morning, luckily Sir Harry's is open till 2:30 am.

Taxi!

And we're off.

And here we are, the Waldrof Astoria, the home of Sir Harry's.

The green stairs match my Gumby bag.

They still have the Lena Horne album on display. I love this album cover.

And here's Sir Harry's, looks like we beat the last call here.

Wow, it's more crowded in here than I thought it would be, but I spy a seat at the end of the bar. Let's snag it.

I've been sitting here for over five minutes and the fucking bartender hasn't moved. He's talking to some couple and I just want to get my glass swizzle stick and get out of here. It's loud and loaded with drunk tourists, all happy to be paying ten bucks for a draft beer. Sheesh!

Jesus fucking Christ, it's going on ten minutes! I'm not going to be ignored, Dan!

Finally after coughing and waving my arms like an epileptic after three hits off of a crystal meth pipe I got a drink. I ordered a double gin and tonic. Check out the swizzle stick...one word: Plastic. Talk about your Dustin Hoffman moments. A real fucking disappointment.

And I can't even tell what the design is supposed to be. From my perspective it looks a little like an alcoholic Hula Hula Girl. Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson. Let's get out of here.

Oh well...why not, for old times sake...

Obligatory bathroom mirror shot! Now with Gumby!

Oh and so the night wasn't a total loss, I stole the bartender's pen. It's silver and shiny! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Sir Harry’s
301 Park Ave. (@49th St.)
212-872-4890

Further reading: Los Angeles Times, Go Antiques, New York magazine and Wikipedia.

You might also like: Burning Feet, Burning Man and Burning Bridges.

Four Other Swizzles
Rum Swizzle
The Swizzle Inn
Swizzle Scandium
T-Swizzle

I knew that to keep in touch,
Would do me deep in dutch.

ARCHIVES