Entries in Cardboard Box Man (6)


Home At Last


The plane is circling for the landing, I'm anxious to get home!

There wasn't a line at the cab stand and the sun is setting as we head into Manhattan.

And here I am at my building withthe festive wreath on it. Hmm...the door looks like something, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

And here's my door, I'm going to go in and collapse on my futon. Drinking Traveling all day can sure wear a guy out.

Aaaahhhhh! (And Gumby's consorting with him, the goddamned traitor!)


Holiday CBBM Sighting!

Kari sent in this holiday CBBM lit up mutation. He doesn't even take holidays off. Aaahhh!


December 19, 2011

Yesterday I posted a link to the Hand-Made Holiday Gift and Craft fair that MAD commenter and CBBM documentarian, Spike and his wife, Sacha host and tonight I thought I’d go check it out. And you’re invited too!

Brrrr...it's cold out here tonight!

Luckily, it's a short walk and here we are at d.b.a.

And here's a sign for the 7th Annual Hand-Made Crafts Fair, let's go check it out.

It's nice and dark inside and the bar is marble at the end and wooden in the middle, nice.

And the lovely and friendly bartender, Brie is quick with a beer and a nice smile.

They serve a huge variety of beer and have a large liquor list as well, some of the varieties are listed on the boards hanging over the bar.

Candle lit wooden tables line the wall opposite the bar.

And it looks like the craft fair is back here.

Wow, it's very festive and cozy back here!

And here's the hosts of the fair, Sacha and Spike!

Sacha is the founder and director of Stiggly Holistics, an East Village, New York City based holistic wellness center.

She had an impressive display of items for sale ranging from various balms to tea cups, pottery, granola and tea.

Let's take a look around and meet some of the other vendors in the fair.

Here's Deborah who had a nice selection of blown glass items on display.

Cid was selling hand=made jewelry and told me about an access cable show called, "Mark After Dark." I have to meet this guy! She also had two little wooden hands on her table that frightened me a little bit!

Karen was working at her table that boasted a very nice array of hand-made items.

This is a great event and I'll be back next year for sure.

Thanks to Spike and Sacha for the invitation and for hanging out with me, I had fun, but now I have to go and face the cold.

Yikes, it's even worse now. I haven't had a fire in the fireplace so far, but I think I'm going to fire it up tonight! Let's get moving!

Here we are...aaaaahhh...wait a second...a Cardboard Box Man in a fireplace? Probably not the best place to try and scare me.

Burn, baby, burn! Could this be the end of the Cardboard Box Man's reign of terror? Probably not, but one can hope! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

41 First Ave. (Near 2nd St.)

Further Reading: New York Magazine, Diner’s Journal and EV Grieve.

Surrender, surrender,
But don’t give yourself away.

(Surprise link, click on it...I dare you!)


August 8, 2011

Tonight I thought we’d have a dinner and a movie here at MAD. I didn’t get a cheeseburger last night, so I thought I’d cook one at home and have a nice stay at home Sunday dinner. And I got a movie from a friend of mine at work called, “Captured.” It’s a documentary about photographer Clayton Patterson who has been documenting the Lower East Side  in pictures and video since 1979. It’s a great film with wonderful New York imagery and I’ll post a link to where you can watch the film in its entirity for free. But first...it’s time to eat! Well, I have to cook it all first.

Here's all the ingredients for tonight's Sunday dinner.

Instead of a bun, I thought I'd have an English Muffin to house the burger. Before I cheese them up, i'm going to toast them in the toaster oven. Away you go.

I'm grilling a chopped up onion in the electric skillet.

Okay, the muffin nice and toasty brown, so it's time to add cheese to them. And tonight we're using two cheeses, Velveeta on the right and Provolone on the left. Okay back into the toaster oven you go!

Okay, now I've added some pre-cooked bacon to the onion mix. You can buy cooked bacon at the store now, I never knew! Oh the miracles of modern foodism.

Okay, the onion/bacon topping is done, so I've put that off to the side and thrown the burger into the skillet. I've seasoned it with pepper and mustard powder.

We'll cover it and have an appetizer while everything cooks.

I was inspired to cook at home tonight after reading Britta's latest Justice Girl post at her blog. She had a photo of popcorn dusted with chili powder, so I thought I'd try that myself and here it is!

And of course whenever you have popcorn, you have to have a beer or four. And look, a lone bottle of tea has snuck into my refrigerator. How did that happen?

And now a little intermission time as we enjoy the beer and popcorn.

Okay, back to the dinner. The muffins are properly cheesed off.

And the burger is all done. I've melted a slice of Velveeta on top of it. This is going to be one cheesy burger!

Okay, time to put it all together. The burger's on the muffin and a dollop of mustard is added, much to Kari and Britta's delight!

And it's topped off with the bacon and onion mixture.

And here's the meal with some of the chili powder popcorn as a side dish.

That is a tasty burger! And now for the movie portion, just click here and you can watch the entire movie, "Captured" for free. Enjoy and see you tomorrow after dark.

Further reading: The Fader, The Villager, Brooklyn Rail and food•in•mouth.

You Might Also Like: Eclairs, e e cummings and esquared.

Four Cheesy Chefs
Rachel Ray
Guy Fieri
Emeril Lagasse
Chef Boy-Ar-Dee

I hope that you're happy now like you're supposed to be,
And I know that this will hurt you more than it hurts me.


(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)


Bonus Cardboard Box Man Sightings!

Gene sent in this TV CBBM sighting and writes, "Look who has been spotted in a Sonic commercial UFB!

And Kate, from One More Folded Sunset sent in CBBM mutated as a door at The Commonwealth Bar in Brooklyn. Aaaah!


June 10, 2011

Okay, I’m feeling kind of burned out tonight, it was busy at work and I just feel like having a bazillion few beers. My plan was just to wander around on my way and stop in a few places and get a beer. I’m just about to leave, but the only thing that could throw a wrench into that plan is the fact that there could be a major thunderstorm going on right now. I have no windows in the room where I work, so I’m not sure what it’s doing out there. If it is storming, I’ll have to take the subway home...and I think we all know what that means. Al, you better pray the weather gods are on your side. You’ll see in the first photo because I’m just getting ready to leave now.

Holy freaking guacamole, it's coming down in sheets out here...to the Fortress of Solitude!

I made it to the escalator, but I'm soaked. At least people are standing still on here for once.

Let's check that nasty card section at the Duane Reade and see if they've cleaned up their act.

I've got to talk to a manager about these things soon. The cards in here are really starting to personally attack me!

Almost there!

Ahhh...the Fortress of Solitude!

The beer is poured...

And it's time to settle in.

Gumby's comfortable and tonight I brought some paper to draw on instead of using the shitty napkins from here. I thought I'd draw a trilogy of rock stars and here's the results of tonight's Papaya drawings.

Uh, oh...they're bringing in supplies and look who's stowed away up there on the right...aaaahhh! Time to get out of here!

Up the escalator...

And out into the night where it's stopped raining! Hurrah! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Further reading: Spinner, Biography and Freemuse.

You also might like: Hot Dogs, Hot Sauce and Hot Snot.

Five Rainy Internet Places
Rain Pryor
Rainy Days and Mondays
Rain on IMDb
Wiki Rain

Wow man, it's a drag being a rock,
Help I'm a rock.


(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)


Bonus Artwork!

MAD commenter csp commisioned a special piece of art for MAD from the artist, Blü. It's a sad portrait of the Cardboard Box Man and a hot dog. Check it out below.

I almost feel sorry for him now! And below is a piece of artwork from csp himself, hanging at the CMWHYKAY Gallery in the heart of the fashionable garment district in Manhattan. Fantastic work, csp!


Bonus Photo From Jaws!

Jaws just sent in this photo and here's what he wrote: "In honor of your umpteenth visit to your Papaya heaven, I'm including my own tiki style concoction with (Ta-da) my very own steel swizzle stick! The Screwyapapa Royal...one part fresh squeezed orange juice, one part vodka, and one part Fanta pinapple soda...cheers!"

Looks delicious, Jaws! Cheers to you!


May 6, 2011

Two of my favorite writers are Amy and David Sedaris. Last year when Biff came into town, she brought along tickets to see David Sedaris at the legendary Apollo Theater up in Harlem. It was a great night and it’s also when we met Tim “Clacky” Clack and his girlfriend, Shannon. You can read about that night here: David Sedaris at the Apollo Theater, sponsored by Biff!

Amy Sedaris has a new book out called, Simple Times—Crafts For Poor People. I recently bought it and I thought it would be cool to stalk her go to her apartment and see if she would sign it.

“And just how do you know where she lives?” You may be wondering.

Simple. I shelled out ten bucks for the New York City Celebrity Map.

I didn’t buy it specifically to stalk try to meet Amy Sedaris, I thought I might use it for some late night MAD adventures, but as I was looking the list over, there was her name, right below Antonio Banderas. I feel a little pathetic using a service that not only alphabetizes by the first name, but also thinks that the letter “M” comes after “N” in the alphabet.

But I’m going to trust them anyway. The address they give is in the West Village, and I do know that she lives in that neighborhood. As far as the exact address, get your own New York City Celebrity Map if you want to stalk try and meet Amy Sedaris. However I will let you know that Antonio Banderas lives at 50 Central Park West. And you owe me 53 cents for that information by the way!

And we're off. I have to tell you, I'm a little nervous about this whole thing. I'm trying to figure out what to say if I actually do get to meet her.

Let's stop in here for a little liquid courage.

The old beer with a straw in it hidden in a brown bag. Yeah, like a cop will never know what it is in this disguise!

Okay, now I'm nervous walking around with this beer on top of wondering what I'll say to Amy Sedaris if I get to meet her. One rule about being around funny people is not to try to be funnier than they are, because you'll never pull it off and you'll end up looking pathetic. But I don't want to come off as a total dud either. Sheesh, I'm a total nervous wreck right now and paranoid as shit with this 16-ounce can of unlawfulness in my hand. I just thought of what to say! I'll show her the map and how her name is beneath Antonio Banderas and then I'll say, "It says you're beneath Antonio Banderas and that's a total lie! You're much funnier and you didn't have to marry Melanie Griffith to get a green card." That's pretty good, right? Fuck, I'm throwing the beer away, it's just making me too nervous. I should've just gone back to the M&M store tonight. This is a crazy-ass thing to be doing!

Fancy psychic window alert!

You've got to love it when you look in a Mexican restaurant and there's a guy that looks like he's passed out wearing a sombrero. He kind of looks like Antonio Banderas!

Shit, I still need to get my mom a present! There's just not enough time in the day to get everything done.

Aaaaahhh! Quit reminding me that I'm a bad son!

Okay, we're almost there!

Here's the building and the door is wide open! Holy shitballs, maybe I can just walk in, find her apartment number on the mailboxes and go knock on the door. I'm going to wait out here for a few minutes first and practice that Antonio Banderas joke.

Shit, I'm across the street now. I went inside the building and there was a Spanish doorman behind a desk. I was tempted to ask if he was related to Antonio Banderas, but decided not to press my luck. He asked if he could help me and I asked him if he could ring Amy Sedaris's apartment and ask her if she would sign my book. He told me he couldn't give out any information about the building. I told him I didn't need any information, I was just curious if Amy Sedaris would sign my book. I added that I was a big fan, for emphasis. He told me he couldn't give out any information about the building. We volleyed back and forth a few more times and he started looking pretty nervous, so I decided to retreat before he called the cops. Now I'm standing here like some sort of failed Margaret Ray. This wasn't a very good night. Sorry.

I wonder what Antonio Banderas is doing right now at this moment? Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Amy Sedaris
Simple Times—Crafts For Poor People

Further reading and watching: amysedarisrocks.com, Amy Sedaris YouTube Channel, goodreads and Late Night.

You might also like: Jimmy Olsen, The Olsen Twins and Twins.

Five More Great Writers
Henry Beard
Hunter S. Thompson
Michael O’Donoghue
Fred Exley
Donn Pearce

Well all you ladies gather 'round
That good sweet candy man's in town.


(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)


Bonus Photo by ragin' rr!

MAD commenter and quote-gatherer, ragin' rr sent in this photo from the front page of the Hartford Courant newspaper.