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November 4, 2011

As you may or may not know, today is National Sandwich Day. A holiday I hold high in regard, because just like Dagwood Bumstead, I love sandwiches. They come in so many delicious varieties and styles you could eat a different sandwich every day of the year and never repeat yourself...hmm...I have to put that in my blog list of ideas! Anyway sandwiches run the gamut from a simple, yet satisfying ham and cheese on white bread to more inventive sandwiches like The Rubix Cubewich. Sandwiches rightfully deserve their own holiday.

You know one thing that’s always pissed me off? The Manwich advertising campaign that ran with the slogan, “A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.” Really Manwich? You’re a meal? I’m so glad you informed me of this nugget of information, because I’ve always thought you were a third-rate version of a Sloppy Joe. You look like diarrhea on a bun and that’s fitting since you taste like shit! You think you’re better than a sandwich? In actuality all you really are is a sauce for Sloppy Joe’s, it says so right there on your fucking label! But yet, you’re better than a sandwich? You’re nothing more than a fucking condiment masquerading as a meal. You’re a complete and utter fraud. It’s like Hunt’s Ketchup saying that they’re better than a cheeseburger. Quite frankly this whole charade makes me sick. Fuck you and the bun you rode in on, Manwich!

So anyway, I thought we’d celebrate National Sandwich Day by going somewhere and having a sandwich. I have to be honest here, I had to work late and it’s after one in the morning, so National Sandwich Day is officially over, but fuck it, I’m still awake, so I’m extending the goddamned holiday here on MAD. I thought about going to the Hollywood Diner, but then decided since we’ve already gone there, it would be better try a new spot. I Googled around and found a 24 hour diner/restaurant that’s on my way home called, The Chelsea Square Restaurant. And so, it’s off we go for a little sandwich celebration!

It's not that far away, but I thought I'd take a cab because it's late and my feet are killing me.

And here we are, The Chelsea Square Restaurant.

Open 24 hours, always the mark of excellence.

Inside there's rows of vanilla colored vinyl booths to sit at.

And on the outer perimeter there's tables with floor to ceiling windows giving you a view of the outside action on the street.

I chose to sit at the counter, as I usually do.

Jesse was working the counter area and happily served me up a beer. He told me the diner has been on the block for over 30 years.

I'm always fascinated with the photos in these places. Let's take a look at a few of them.

Here's a photo of Al Pacino with the caption reading: "Guess who's mincing onions in the Chelsea Square kitchen?" I guess he couldn't pay his bill that night. Should've taken the back end deal on The Godfather III, Al!

Here's a signed photo from Erik Estrada. I'm guessing he got the fish and CHiPs. Sorry about that.

And no true New York diner is complete without a cheesecake shot of Marilyn Monroe hanging over the counter.

And here's another one of Al Pacino. This one is signed, I wonder if he lives in the neighborhood?

Okay, time to look at the menu and figure out what sandwich to have to celebrate National Sandwich Day. I came to the right place as they have tons of sanwiches here. It was a rough decision...

But I decided on my favorite sandwich, a grilled cheese. But to jazz it up for the holiday, I got two kinds of cheese on the sandwich, cheddar and swiss and a slice of ham on rye bread. It looks delicious!

And it is. Happy National Sandwich Day, everyone!

Burp. And fuck you Manwich! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

Chelsea Square Restaurant
368 W. 23rd St. (Near 9th St.)

Further reading: Eat Some Sweets, The Guardian and Mealtime.

Twenty year old turkey in a thirty year old tin,
I can't wait until tomorrow, and thaw one out again.

(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)


Cardboard Box Man Mutant Sighting By Ragin' RR!

MAD commenter, quote supplier and "rotgut 45" guzzler, ragin' rr, sent in this sighting of what looks like to be a mutant strain of a cheese cassette Cardboard Box Man. Aaaaahhh!

Reader Comments (25)

Don't feed me no baloney...I WANT A MANWICH PLEASE!

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDr. Ruth's Pussy

You know Marty, with all the running around you do for the sake of this blog, sooner or later you're gonna wind up on Ben Bailey's 'Cash Cab'. That is going to be an epic post!

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJaws the Cabbie

Love the Manwich rant-that stuff is almost as bad as the McRib!

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBritta

Really good looking sandwich. Those vanilla colored booths are so tidy, want to order a vanilla shake.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAl

@Dr. Ruth's Pussy: Ha! I should've known you'd crave a Manwich!

@Jaws: I've never seen the Cash Cab show, but so many people have mentioned it. Hopefully someday our paths will cross!

@Britta: Glad you liked the Manwich Rantwich! And yes, it's on the same level as the McRib, many rungs below a sandwich!

@Al: It was one of the best grilled cheeses ever. A perfect National Sandwich Day treat!

November 4, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

Funny manwich stuff ! ... brilliant !!!

I believe Al Pacino lives by Columbus Circle ... I'd love to have a beer with him !

PS .... we haven't seen a picture of your fridge lately !

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGENE

Give 'em hell Marty!! (the manwich that is)

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous271

If my memory serves me correctly, wasn't Manwich like Stone Soup? Weren't the serving instructions along the lines of, "Make sloppy Joe's and add Manwhich sauce."? Retarded as this may seem, Manwich still cuts that which shall not be named to McRibbons.

Also, Reagan claimed Ketchup was a vegetable. People get Alzheimer's in regard to his shit.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercsp

@GENE: Thanks, it's easy to rant about something as horrible as Manwich! I wouldn't mind having a beer or four with Al myself, maybe we can stalk him when you and Smoopy are in town in a week! And I'll post a picture of the fridge soon!

@anonymous271: Will do, mildew!

@csp: What's funny is that shortly after Reagan declared ketchup a vegetable, he became one himself!

November 4, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

When Al was filming "Dog Day Afternoon" in Windsor Terrace, my husband and his buddies found out where he was staying (on the corner of 17th St. & Prospect Park West aka 9th Ave). They rang the bell and yelled up from the sidewalk til someone came to the window. My husband & co. invited him to come out and drink with them. The emissary disappeared for a few secs and then came back and said Al was too tired, but maybe some other time. Never happened, but still, at least he was cool about it.
Anyway, FUCKING MANWICHES! Disgusting.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatrink

Happy late sandwich day! Sorry i missed it. The whole world was out having a blast eating sandwich after sandwich and i missed! Always out of the loop.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterProfessor Dungpie.

Soy Milk is an UDDER fraud! Also, I read somewhere that they discovered that the McRib Sandwich contains an ingredient that they also use in gymnastics mats. I'm not sure that "fact" is true, but it sure is fun to say! Your sandwich looked delicious. And I'm not even a big fan of sandwiches.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBiff

P.S. I'm diggin the counter stools.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBiff

@Katrink: Cool story! They should've shouted, "Aticca...Attica..." till he came down! And yes, Manwich = Ptoooey!

@Professor Dungpie: It's never too late, have your own private Sandwich Day along with about 9,498 beers and send me a photo of it!

@Biff: "Soy Milk is an UDDER fraud!" Ha ha ha! you still gots it Bifferoonie! Good one!

November 4, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

Make mine--tuna whiskey down--old talk for a tuna salad on buttered toast--via Warwick Hotel afternoon lunch bar.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

yes i do consume "rotgut 45's" and sumtime under consume...and occasionally scream "motherfucker we're outa 45 already?"...only guzzle after one of those days at the wrok palace...yeah i know off topic...the sandwich...damn a national sandwich day...fuck i missed it....actually the earl of sandwich offed or had offed the duke of Shrewsbury and "took" the idea of putting "sunthing" tween two pieces of bread...where is csp to get help me outa this loop?...

I believe that if you don't want to do anything, then sit there and don't do it, but don't expect people to hand you a corn beef sandwich and wash your socks for you and unzip your fly for you.
Shel Silverstein


November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterraginrr

@Melanie: Ha, love the sandwich lingo. And I've been to the Warwick Hotel's bar! The Beatles used to stay there, but you probably know that.

@rr: I do believe a couple were consumed before that comment! Great quote by Shel Silverstein, one of my heroes!

November 4, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

@rr: "According to Boston disc jockey Dick Summer of WBZ, whom I listened to in the '60s, the Earl of Sandwich was an evil dude who stole credit for having invented the sandwich from the Duke of Shrewsbury. Summer called sandwiches "shrewsburies" and maybe we should, too."

November 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercsp

sherman and my way back machine had me pickin' up "dusty" dick outa a buffalo station...i think it was WKBW hell it could of been WXYZ for all of me hell i was in the woods of pa and that waz in the fabulous fiftys ...but his themes were all about dust and some thing about the Earl of Sandwich did in the Duke of Shewsbury to claim meat or sum such twix slices of bread all his...oh damn maybe honorin' the incorrect thing has raised it's ugly head again...oh no almost got roped into a rant...in more ways than one...


November 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterraginrr

@rr: Watch out picking up those dusty dicks, you can get a disease doing that! Not being judgmental, just showing a little concern! (I'm still at work, it's 2:15 in the am and I've got at least an hour to go. Don't expect much at MAD tomorrow!)

November 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

Warwick for lunch..Rhodes High School down the block..those were the years. Moondog reciting poetry and music on 6th Avenue. Rhodes is now the US Trust..but back then it was Rhodes. Fun times for sure.

November 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

FUCK YOU MANWICH!!! right on Marty! :) I typically turn to you when I'm thirsty, tonight I'm hungry.. not for a manwich, I thought I wanted a dinner, but now all I want is a sandwich. There is this place in Jersey (of all places) that I have been dreaming about because of their sandwiches. what is the name of this deli???? I hate Jersey, but I have dreamed about driving there just for the sandwich. when I sober up and remember the name of the deli, I'll let you know (not that you care, but I care enough to want to know that I can pull that sort of useless information out of my head)

November 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGreen Monkey

mmmmmmm.....cheese....and sandwiches (one of my favorite commercials)

November 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkari

@Green Monkey: Let me know the name of the place when you remember it. If their sandwiches are that good, I may take a road trip there!

@kari: Ha ha ha! Great ad! Thanks for the link. "The Power of Cheese," wasn't that a Huey Lewis song too? And speaking of cheese, time for me to venture out and get a cheeseburger now!

November 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

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