May 26, 2011

I really should quit whining about working the dayshift, but here we go again!

Today was almost a twelve hour day and I’m fucking beat. I feel like Monday’s and Tuesday’s post weren’t that great and I appreciate those of you who are sticking with me this week. It’s not only that I hate working and moving around in the daylight hours, it’s also that my workdays are a lot longer and I don’t feel like doing jack shit afterwards. So tonight, I’m taking a suggestion from MAD commenter and the future Jerry Lewis, Jason Hwang.

After I went to the shitty Tick Tock Diner (a diner without a counter!) he suggested I try the Skylight Diner which isn’t far from work. So that’s where I’m going tonight. This way if it sucks you can blame Jason.

Sadly I had to work late today, but the good news is at least it's dark outside and I'm staying true to the name of this blog.

This is Harold Camping's latest prediction, I don't think this act of heavenly division will happen. I'm calling it the, "Crapture."

And here we are, the Skylight Diner. Looks like an old school diner, nice!

And like all true NYC diners, it's open 24 hours.

Looks like they speak my language here!

And there's a nice curly-Q counter to sit at. Perfect!

Muffins!

Within three minutes of sitting down, an ice-cold Budweiser is placed before me. Aaahh, memories of where I work are fading fast.

And speaking of beers, check out the selection here. A large and varied list for a diner!

Ebony and Ivory condiment shot!

Here's some of the staff hard at work behind the counter. I've just placed an order for a bowl of matzo ball soup.

And I've also ordered a second beer. While we wait for the meal to arrive, let's take a little tour. Here's the back of the diner where there's table seating.

There's booths up in the front window for a nice view of the street as you eat.

I hear the desserts here are homemade and simply delectable!

Obligatory counter diner mirror shot!

Another shot of the other side of the counter...

And when I return to my seat, dinner is served! Their matzo ball soup is the best I've ever had, it not only has matzo balls, but there's noodles in it as well! Delicious!

I was tempted to have a black and white cookie for dessert, but opted for another beer instead.

And now it's out the door and home to collapse. See you tomorrow after dark and thanks to Jason for the suggestion!

If They Do Say So Themselves!
(From their “About Us” page on their website)
Welcome to Skylight Diner, servicing residents and businesses in Hell's Kitchen since 1996.

We are Teddy & George and we own and operate Skylight Diner. We're on hand every day to ensure that whether you come into our restaurant or order delivery, your food is prepared just the way you want it.

We offer value and speedy delivery. Choose from triple decker sandwiches, salads, pastas, Greek specialties, seafood entrees, pancakes, eggs and much, much more!

Skylight Diner
402 W. 34th St. (Near Ninth Ave.)
212-244-0395

Further reading: New York Magazine, Skylight on flickr (be sure to look under the “Comments and faves” for a scary surprise!) and NY Times.

You might also like: John and Yoko.

Three Top Ten Lists

Famous Photographs
Psychological Thrillers
I Love My Job

Here come the daylight,
And now it’s the end.
Oh no, oh no, oh no.

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May 25, 2011

First off I want to put up a link to the latest update from the Chillmaster Dance Party. Goggla posted her photos and a video! Check it out here: The Gog Log.

Okay, it’s Tuesday night, which means it’s the night I go out in search of the ever-elusive glass swizzle stick. The only problem this week is that I’m working the dayshift, so I have to do this shit when it’s still light out, so I can get home and get to sleep to get into work on time. I’ve decided to try the Gramercy Tavern, because it’s an upscale place, they must use swizzle sticks and it’s on my way home. So it’s off we go.

I really hate doing this in the daylight. Plus I was running late this morning, so I haven't showered today and haven't shaved since Sunday and I kind of look and smell like a hobo. I love the word, "hobo!"

Uh, oh, walking by this pile very quickly! Three words: Cardboard Box Man!

I love this vintage Squirt sign in Eisenberg's Sandwich Shop window!

Fuck!

Spinal Tap moment alert!

Oh if only this sign was located in a liquor store!

Jesus, this sign is scarier than the Cardboard Box Man!

Christ, here I am at the Gramercy Tavern and it's filled to the brim with after work people. I really miss my late night crowd. I can't drink in here.

And so it's home I go. This isn't a double gin and tonic, but those are real swizzle sticks, donated by "Boris!" Read more about them in the bonus section below! Goodnight everybody and I'll see you tomorrow in the stinking daylight once again. May this week pass quickly!

Further reading: New York magazine, Menu Pages, Open Table and Danny Meyer on YouTube.

You might also like: Walter, Cron and Kite.

Five Things I Hate About The Sunshine
It’s too bright.
It comes out in the daytime.
And I hate the daytime.
It’s a terrible Jonathan Edwards song.
It’s an even worse John Denver song.

My girlfriend's run off with my car,
And gone back to her ma and pa,
Telling tales of drunkenness and cruelty.

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Bonus Swizzle Sticks and buttons from “Boris!”
MAD in-house artist, “Boris” sent in two swizzle sticks that are really something special. They’re authentic swizzle sticks from the Chicago Playboy Club! “Boris’s” Dad was a member and this is from his private stash. Thanks to “Boris” for this and for the buttons below.

Here they are, authentic swizzle sticks from the Playboy Club!

Very cool and a great addition to the collection.

"Boris" also sent along these vintage buttons, they're all great, but this one...

Is the greatest! A genuine Jerry Lewis Telethon button! Too cool! My dad's name is Jerry, which makes me one of Jerry's Kids and I've always been pissed I haven't seen a dime from that goddamned telethon! Thanks to "Boris" for this great package!

And here's the whole swizzle stick collection...aaaahhhhh! He's everywhere!

May 24, 2011

Okay I’m still hungover from yesterday’s chill-dance party really tired because I’m working the dayshift this week, so this is going to be a bit of a quickity blickity blog. The other week I posted from my dinner at the Hollywood Diner, my local diner. I’m really beat and didn’t eat today because I was so hungover because I didn’t have time at work, so I thought tonight will be another diner stop. This time at a 24-hour diner that’s nearby where I work called the Tick Tock Diner. I’ve only eaten there a couple times and I’m starvin’ like Marvin, so let’s hit the road, it’s within walking distance.

Aaaahhh! It's still light out! I hate working the dayshift!

And here we are, the Tick Tock Diner.

And like any self-respecting New York Diner, it's open 24 hours.

Okay, I just came in and asked a busboy where the counter is and there's no counter dining in here.

So I walked over here and I've learned that the operative word here is, "Wait." Because I've been waiting over five minutes now and no one has come forward to seat me. Fuck it, I know what has to be done...

To the Papaya! My personal Fortress of Solitude!

They've got beer here! Hair of the dog Lloyd!

My table awaits...

Gumby's all settled in...

Time to enjoy a little dinner and a large beer and in a deja vu moment, chill the fuck out. Why the fuck not?

And now, time for dessert.

Hair of the dog! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow...in the daylight. Fuck! I'll try to make tomorrow's post a little more lively!

Further reading: Papaya Wars, Khan and Smoking Hot Waitress.

You might also like: Val Kilmer, Valium and Val.

Four Random Images I’m Putting Up Because I’m Going To Be Late For Work

Duckface
You’re Adopted
Strange Dog
Pills

Sweet sixteen,
Ain’t that peachy keen?

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Bonus Links With More Photos From The Chillmaster Dance Party!
One More Folded Sunset
Single Linds Reflex
Neither More Nor Less

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Bonus Photos From Gene Rubbico of the BBC!

365 commenter, Gene Rubbico and his wife Smoopy were in town last weekend and Gene spotted what he believes to be the Cardboard Box Man's slow cousin at the Blarney Cove.

And look closely at this picture of a seller of socks at a street fair that Gene took. Aaaaahhhh!

May 23, 2011

Last week we met the Chillmaster and when I talked with him the following Monday I asked him if he’d be interested in having a Chill Dance Party. His response was: “Why the fuck not?”

Why the fuck not, indeed! And so a Chill Dance Party was planned. Below, the results of the aforementioned Chill Dance Party.

We decided to meet at the Mars Bar for a drink before heading over to the Chillmaster's. Do you feel alright? I know I do!

Here comes Terry!

Aaaahhhhh!

Goggla's painting for the art show at Mars Bar today.

Here's Ed with his collage of dogs and models.

Why (the fuck) not?

Our chill group...hey, where's Goggla and Ed?

And here he is! The Chillmaster himself, chilling the fuck out!

Once inside, the Hennessy is poured...

And the chilling begins!

And that's how you do a Chillmaster Dance Party people! Thanks to everyone for coming and thanks to the Chillmaster for making it happen! And a shoutout to the soulful EV Grieve, where it all started! Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

A Chillmaster Dance Party
Ingredients: Fun people, Hennessy, Vodka, chips, beer, sweet soul music.

Shake
You move your body all around,
And just shake.

Thats the way you do it Shake, Shake, Shake it baby.
Shake it like a bowl of soup,
Let your body loop de loop,
Put your hands on your hip,
Come on and let your backbone slip,
Move your body like your hip,
And just shake!

Shake early in the morning,
Shake early in the evening.

A Ring-A-Ling-a-Ling,
Honey, Shakin' is the greatest thing,
But if you really roll gotta do the thing with SOUL!

That’s how you do a Chillmaster Dance Party people.

You just shake.

Why the fuck not?

Further reading: EV Grieve.

Shake!
That’s the way you do it!

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May 22, 2011

Shit, I forgot to set my alarm clock and I slept in till two in the afternoon. It's been a long week and it finally caught up with me. And maybe I shouldn't have had that last double vodka drink last night. Anyway, I have to do this post in record time, so here goes. Two thirds of the BBC (Baltimore Bar Crawlers) were in town last night. Gene and his wife Smoopy were in town to celebrate Gene's birthday, so last night we went out for Cheeseburger Saturday Night and now I have about ten minutes to put it all together in this post because I have to meet friends at the Mars Bar. Last night we ended up at several destinations and it was a little disjointed. I have no time for captions, so here's random photos from the evening. One word of warning: If Gene ever suggests riding the M train, tell him no! Okay, here goes nothing.

(Aaaaahhhh!)

Further Reading: Time.

Time is precious I know.

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May 21, 2011

Well, if this guy is right, this may be the last MAD post, so I thought I’d go right back to the place where I started: Ray’s Candy Store in the East Village. Last week Ray got fucked over fined and shut down by the DOH, over and over again. You can read about it over at Bob Arihood’s great blog, Neither More Nor Less. Here’s the story as it broke and just like when you tip your masseuse enough, there was a happy ending. Great reporting and photos by Bob! Ray’s is open again, hooRAY!

Let’s go congratulate Ray!

Here we are in the East Village, just a few blocks and we'll be there.

Wow, check it out, they're screening a Charlie Chaplin movie on this building!

Very cool! But we have to get to Ray's, let's go!

There's Ray's, straight ahead and it looks like the lights are on.

To quote EV Grieve, YES! Ray's is open again!

A glance in the window confirms things are operational at Ray's again.

Love trumps the DOH any old day of the week.

Let's go inside and see what's shaking.

I got a vanilla milkshake and here's Amy making it.

And here she is serving it up and showing her cool grilled cheese painting that's in the front window. Nice!

And here's the man himself, Ray! He manages a smile, even though he has a shitload of fines from the DOH. Stop by and help him out if you can. Tipping is allowed at Ray's and will help him stay open.

Great pull quote on the wall, sorry about the fuzzy photo!

Two free toppings!

These people were in town all the way from Texas and came by to support Ray's, very cool indeed!

Obligatory Ray's mirror shot!

To Ray's! The best candy store in NYC and the world! Stop by and help him stay open. And fuck the DOH. If you're afraid of a little dust in your hotdog you shouldn't be eating in New York City.

Ha! Deja vu on the way home. Usually I'd say, "Goodnight and see you tomorrow after dark," but considering the outlook for today, I'll just say, "I'll see you in hell, later tonight!"

While there was a happy ending to this tale, Ray’s troubles aren’t over. Now he’s socked with thousands of dollars of fines and he was out of business for several days. If you live in the city stop by and buy something from Ray and if you can, leave him a decent tip. If you don’t live in New York you can still help out by visiting Ray’s online store and buy a product emblazoned with the Ray logo! Let’s help keep this man in business!

Ray's Candy Store
113 Ave. A (Near 7th St.)

Further reading: EV Grieve, Neither More Nor Less, Grub Street and Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York.

You might also like: Candy Corn, Candy Canes and Candy Darling.

Four Other Rays
Ray Charles
Ray Davies
Margaret Ray
Raymond J. Johnson (You can call him Ray.)

Candy says I hate the big decisions,
That cause endless revisions in my mind.

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Bonus Section!

Rapture T-Shirt by “Boris!”

Resident MAD artist, “Boris” has designed a special t-shirt for today’s special Rapture moment. Order one and show everybody that you survived Judgement Day! And if the shit really does go down? Well, order one anyway and put it on a credit card, it’s not like you’re going to have to pay the bill afterwards!  Here’s what “Boris” has to say about it: “Be the First (or Last) in your Neighborhood to wear this (soon to be) Collectible. You can't take it with you, so you might as well buy a T-Shirt. Wear It Like There's No Tomorrow.” This collectible t-shirt is available for a limited time only, so get yours before hell freezes over, it may happen sooner than you think! Check it out and buy one here: Rapture T-Shirt.

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And speaking of Rapture, Gene and Smoopy, two thirds of the BBC (Baltimore Bar Crawlers) are in town and on their way to their 1,967th bar yesterday, they snapped a picture of the kook the man Gene described as, “The end of the world guy.” Yikes, he's almost as scary looking as the Cardboard Box Man!
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And a final cartoon from Jaws. Goodbye everyone! I hope they allow blogs in hell!

May 20, 2011

Okay, tonight I have the night off from work, which is good, because I’m feeling a little burned out from working long hours and then doing something and putting a blog together at the end of the night. So for tonight’s blog I’ll have a little more time and there will probably be tons of photos because I’m going to the 11th annual Joey Ramone Birthday Bash! And 365 commenter and good pal Biff has told me her friend Debbie is selling raffle tickets there. And according to Biff, she’s rather easy on the eyes, so, hey ho, let’s go!

And here we are, Irving Plaza. Someday I plan on changing my name to Irving Plaza, but not tonight.

Okay, let's go get in line.

I'm about 45 minutes early, so I'm the fifth person in line.

Okay, through the magic of the internet, you're spared a 50 minute wait and we're now in the main lobby and the first thing we see is Marky Ramone's Pasta Sauce. A Chef Boy Ar Dee Dee moment indeed!

The stairway to Joey!

Ladies and gentlemen...the bar!

And the stars of the evening...the bartenders!

Well, there's a familiar logo...

And a familiar face! John Holmstrom, founding editor of Punk magazine.

I interviewed John years ago when he was the publisher of High Times magazine. He told me he's working on a new book about Punk magazine. I'm looking forward to that coming out!

And here's John onstage introducing the first band of the evening, The Indecent.

And here they go!

This is a band to look out for, they were great!

Check out a video of them here.

Bassist Maddy onstage and...

Offstage in the lobby with friends after the Indecent's set was over.

And here's the raffle ticket table where Biff told me Debbie would be. Debbie...you're not quite what I pictured! Actually this is Staten Island Tom, who was filling in for an absent Debbie. I bought a raffle ticket anyway. I didn't win. Sob!

Bebe and Jim, America's cutest couple!

Joey on the video screen in the theater.

I had a photo pass and ran into my friend Jason Kuffer in the photo area.

A shot of the crowd from the photo area.

Here's former MTV VJ Matt Pinfield introducing the next band...

Sunday Masquerade.

Next up was Richard Lloyd.

He played a blistering set!

Danny Fields, the Ramones first manager and man whom the book, Please Kill Me is dedicated to is on the video screen.

And now, a series of photos I like to call, "Backs to the Future." Or something.

Next up...The Rattlers!

A face in the crowd, drummer extraordinaire , Clem Burke.

And here's Clem onstage drumming with Hugh Cornwall, formerly of the Stranglers. And at this point my camera batteries gave out, but there was plenty more show and I had a great time. Thanks to Ida Langsam for getting me my photo pass! Happy Birthday, Joey Ramone!

Further reading: Joey Ramone, Mickey Leigh, John Holmstrom and Punk.

You might also like: Joey, Tommy, Dee Dee and Johnny.

Five Ramones
Joey
Johnny
Dee Dee
Tommy
Pauly

Babe.
I got you babe.

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Bonus Linkage and photos!

My friend Paul Scanlon sent in this link from Boing Boing. Aaaaaahhhhh!

Meanwhile, BBC member and soon to be birthday boy, Gene Rubbico sent in this oblgatory bathroom shot.

And finally, Tim "Clacky" Clack, sent in this photo all the way from Australia. He titled it: "Cardboard box man's fundamentalist cousin has had enough!"

Aaaahhhhhhh!

May 19, 2011

It was another killer night tonight and I’m pretty beat, but luckily I have tomorrow off from work, so don’t worry, I’m not going back to the Papaya Dog in Penn Station!

One thing I’ve been meaning to do is go and take a picture of the last cigarette machine in Manhattan. Back when I was doing the bar crawl, Fat Al from the fine blog, The Half Empty Glass made a comment saying that the last cigarette machine was located in a bar called J. Mac’s on the West side of Hell's Kitchen. I went there and it was wild in there that night. There were three drunken people, two men and a women and they were making more noise and trouble than than a field full of lunatics gakked to the nines on crystal methedrine. All three were screaming at each other, one of the men was swinging a pool cue in the air, the woman was hitting and kicking both of them and the other man was throwing balls from the pool table at the wall.

I approached the bartender a somewhat hard-looking woman and started to give her my crawl spiel and took out my camera. She just shook her head and said, “You can’t take pictures in here tonight, I can’t deal with anything more than this.”

I have to tell you, I was kind of relieved. I didn’t want those people fixating on me and happily went to another bar. I was pissed I didn’t get a picture of the cigarette machine though. So tonight, I thought we’d go back and document Manhattan’s last cigarette machine.

Okay, here we are on 57th Street. I spared you a long-ass wait for a subway train that was a little grueling. It's raining out here and pretty miserable. Maybe I should've gone to the Papaya in Penn again. Oh well, onwards and upwards.

I'm just ignoring that pile and walking real fast past it. I don't need a Cardboard Box Man sighting tonight, my nerves are frazzled enough as it is.

But I don't have a boarding pass! Does this sign know something I don't?

Okay, if you insist.

Jesus fucking Christ, this is one long-ass walk over there. It's on the corner of 57th and 11th.

The rain is really coming down now. I'm wet and tired and miserable. I really need a drink!

Fancy Psychic Reader alert! I like the golden man and the hand statues. So tell me, Psychic, when in the fuck will I ever get to J. Mac's?

Oh, never mind, here we are.

The first of many drinks.

Okay, so I walked in and it was kind of like walking into a private party. Everybody in there was Hispanic and the only other white guy in the joint was the picture of John Wayne on the calendar behind the bar. Everyone was speaking Spanish and taking turns playing pool. The bartender was a stocky woman with black hair done up in a braided pigtail. I asked her where the cigarette machine was and she told me they took it out.

“There’s new owners here,” She noted.

Fuck, I was tired, wet and felt defeated five ways from Friday. I ordered a double gin and tonic and of course it arrived without a swizzle stick. The bar was dark and there was a shiny, sparkly internet jukebox behind a pile of discarded liquor boxes in the corner. I went over and put on a few selections including “Gimme Shelter” by the Rolling Stones, “Baba O’Reilly” by the Who, “I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man” by Prince and “Now I Wanna Be Your Dog” by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. A tiny Hispanic man was seated at the end of the well-worn wooden bar and was wearing a backwards baseball cap and nodding his head along to the tunes. He got up and walked over to me after a couple of them had played. He was drinking Red Bull and Coors Light and approached me with the can of Red Bull in his hands. He smiled and stuck out his hand. I shook it and he started speaking Spanish to me.

“I’m sorry,” I said shaking my head, “I don’t speak Spanish.”

He then walked over to a tiny woman with black rimmed shell glasses who was playing pool and whispered in her ear. She walked over to me and said, “He wants to tell you he likes your songs.”

I smiled and looked over at him and held my glass up. His can of Red Bull went up in the air just as Roger Daltry’s voice was booming, “It's only teenage wasteland, they're all wasted!” through the shiny internet jukebox. All of a sudden I didn’t care that the cigarette machine wasn’t there. I ordered another drink and the bartender told me, “It’s on the house.”

All in all, it was a decent night.

Obligatory bathroom shot. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

J.Mac's
600 W. 57th St.
212-974-3169

Further reading: New York Magazine, NY Times, Jeremiah’s Vanishing New York and Shecky’s.

You might also like: Mac and Cheese, Mac Davis and Mac.

Five Ways To Quit Smoking
Medline Plus
smokfree.gov
Family Doctor
20 Quick Tips
Die

It’s only teenage wasteland,
They're all wasted!

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