« May 6, 2011 | Main | May 4, 2011 »

May 5, 2011

Last week while walking home from my parents hotel I was walking through Times Square and saw an abomination a store that I had no idea existed. It’s a store called M&M’s World and it’s a store that is three floors high and sells nothing but M&M candy and accessories. Yes, Virginia, M&M’s now come with accessories...at least at this store. I thought this would be a perfect Times Square place to play...Tourist Trap OR A Place That’s Actually Worth Checking Out.

And we're off. Goddamn, it's cold out for May.

Deedle dee dee...fresh air...deedle dee dee...Times Square!

Fuck, it's after 11:00 o'clock at night and it's as bright as daytime here with all the lights. I hate it here!

Did I mention I hate it here? Oh, good.

And here we are, the M&M...and M&M and M store. Mmmmm.

Three floors of shopping!

They've got t-shirts on the first floor.

And on the second floor they've got...t-shirts.

And on the third floor...more t-shirts! Where the fuck is the candy in this place?

This guy has a vested interest in the t-shirts! I'm cracking myself up over here!

M&M coke spoons! Great...but I want candy!

Ask and ye shall receive. Vats of the elusive M&M candies.

Another satisfied customer.

She stocked up. If she only knew she could get the same product at the Duane Reade a block away at half the price.

Photo Booth!

Goodnight everybody, see you tomorrow after dark.

The Verdict!

Tourist Trap OR A Place That’s Actually Worth Checking Out?


Shit I forgot to get a souvenir...wait, I know...

I'd rather buy my M&M's from this guy, anyway.

M&M's World
1600 Broadway (Between 48th & 49th St)

Further reading and watching: New York Magazine, ToDoCandy, INCYDK and TCPBG.

You might also like: Van Halen, Van Johnson and A Van...Down By The River!

Six Other M&M’s
M&M Donuts
M&M Meat Shops

Have you seen Junior’s grades?


(Surprise link...click on it...I dare you!)


Bonus Facebook Update Found By "Boris!"

"Boris" found this timely update on facebook the other day. It kind of tells it's own story, thanks Daddio!


Bonus Jaws Art

Jaws combined the worlds of Wall Drug and the M&M World below. Thanks, Jaws!

References (7)

References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
  • Response
    Football is truly a single of the most significant sports in America. It has a major following.
  • Response
    Response: plumber
    Marty After Dark - Almost Live...From New York - May 5, 2011
  • Response
    Marty After Dark - Almost Live...From New York - May 5, 2011
  • Response
    ""One small mistake would cost you a podium finish," s Nike Free 5.0+ Bleu Ciel aid Richards, a 2006 Olympian The doctor's office, the libra Nike Free 3 V4 Jade ry, the grocery store, your place of Nike Free 5.0+ Bleu Ciel employment) I got in Nike Free 3 V4 Jade ...
  • Response
    Marty After Dark - Almost Live...From New York - May 5, 2011
  • Response
    Marty After Dark - Almost Live...From New York - May 5, 2011
  • Response
    Marty After Dark - Almost Live...From New York - May 5, 2011

Reader Comments (33)

Great Van Halen brown M & M articles today! And that facebook status by Boris...LMFAO! Classic post on MAD today!

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarfly

LOL Absolutely LOVE that facebook update!!

Absolutely abhor that M&Ms store. They have one in Las vegas as well. That's all this world needs is giant M&Ms people milling about...

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTiki Bar Susie

@Barfly: Thanks!

@Tiki Bar Susie: That facebook status by "Boris" is hilarious! I thank him again for sending it in!

May 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

♪Come on-a my house my house, I'm gonna give you candy♫

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRosemary Clooney

This place looks like the Wall Drug of M&M's! Check your e-mail, Marty...this place needs it's very own Wall Drug like sculpture out front. Bwahaha! Great facebook post...Nyuck nyuck.

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJaws the Cabbie

@Jaws i still have nightmares form my trip to wall drugs
that VH post.. wow.. brown fucking m and m's.. 4 cases of fucking Schlitz.. fucking assholes...the Schlitz was for groupies and hanger ons...
I love M and M's sooooo much my daughters initials are MNM
but i wouldn't be caught dead in an m and m store...

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGidgie

@ Gidge...Wall Drug, I was there when I was twelve...thought it was great then, classic American kitsch.

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJaws the Cabbie

Oh great, now I have: "An' I say rock on. Oh, say, rock on” AND “Come on-a my house, my house, I'm gonna give you candy”, stuck in my head; simultaneousl!

There’s only one thing that gets rid of an “Earworm” and that’s alcohol, and plenty of it. My mission has become clear.

Marty: Ever heard “Mississippi” John Hurt’s “Candy Man”?

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHarry

This place is a joke. Me and Smoopy went in once. I just stood there and ate some roasted nuts we got outside -- and pondered how much money was being spent for all that space in the middle of Times Square ? That whole area now is just one big giant advertisement. You should try the Charmin Toilet Paper bathroom place during the holidays .... that is also a hoot :(


May 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGENE

@Rosemary Clooney: Is George going to be handing it out?

@Jaws: I'll check it soon, it's a little nuts here at work right now!

@Gidgie: That's funny about your daughter's initials!

@Harry: I have and I'll post it tomorrow! And cheers to your drinks!

@GENE: I can't open that link here at work, is there a Charmin store in Times Square?

May 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

The facebook post just reminded me of something...not long after 9/11, Southpark did an episode, one of the funniest ever made called 'Osama Bin Lauden has Farty Pants'...done in the same style of the World War Two Loony-Tunes cartoon classics, you know, where Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck do thier part against Hitler and Tojo and Mussolini. Now they ought to do a sequel featuring Osama Bin Lauden and Saddam Hussein down in hell driving Satan completely out of his mind and wondering how he'll be able to stand having to deal with these two for the rest of eternity. I'm guessing something like that is in the works right now.

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJaws the Cabbie

The milk chocolate explodes on impact.

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercsp

@Jaws: That was a great South Park!

@csp: Ha! At least it doesn't melt in your hands!

May 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

Oh great. Now I want massive amounts of M&M's!

And I'm NEVER going to get that song out of my head!

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermeleah rebeccah

I hate Times Square also,,,,because of this crap and because of all the kids stores, I like kids but they over ran the area. Disney,,,thanks, you assholes. Guilianni, thanks you asshole. Yes I prefer the seedy/dangerous peep shows, whores, pimps, danger and old dive bars,,,,and kids,,,go to Disney World.

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAl

photo booth photos, yay! lol! and borises facebook update is too funny! i'm going to go get some skittles now! lol!

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrita r.

@MAD ......... I believe the Charmin thing is only during the holiday season. I went like 2 or 3 years ago. I'm still scarred by the experience and embarrassed that I ever went inside of it :(


May 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGENE

@Meleah: I've still got Tom's Diner going around in my noggin' from a couple of weeks ago!

@Al: I hate to tell you this, but Times Square IS the new Disneyland!

@rita r: Skittles! They'll probably open a store soon!

@GENE: I bet you were WIPED out after going there! (I'm killing myself over here!)

May 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

Fuck, it was inevitable, but this snuck into my head and has taken up permanent residence.

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercsp

3 floors...3 floors...3 floors....how the fuck could three floors be a trap?...GENE saw a trap just goin into the place...it's early for me and the "rotgut 45's" are kickin' in...just wanted to say thanks to "boris" and "jaws" for the bonus's for this post and glad to sae gumby and all his/her glory...

Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of women's pants.
~Oleg Kiselev

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterraginrr

Great Post Marty...we avoided M&M's world but we couldn't avoid Times Square....To go to BB kIngs? Times Square....Letterman? Times Square. Toy's R us was cool. It had a giant T-Rex and a ferris wheel.
It's difficult to avoid.
Gotta love Lee Roth's fluffy boots. VH Rock.

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClacky.

@csp: Deja Link!

@rr: Gumby's a man, dammit! Another fine quote!

@Clacky: If you're visiting New York you have to check it out, but when you live here you avoid it like the plague it's turned into! Those boots cracked me up! I met Eddie Van Halen once and I need to write that story up.

May 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

i must've missed sumthin'...got proof?...


May 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterraginrr

oh yeah...did ya get my mail?...


May 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterraginrr

@rr: Check out this entry, they refer to him as "he."


I'll go check my email now!

May 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

OOOpps, didn't see that link. My face is red. Oh well, I guess one way or another, it was going to get in my head.
Um, did you know that the lead singer was 16 in the video pervs? Check out this awesome link.

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercsp

oh wait you believe everything en.wikipedia posts?....hell might be a bunch of old anti-fems...where the hell is gloira whatever her name is now?...


May 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterraginrr

I think they have her number.

May 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercsp

@csp: That's my favorite blog!

@rr: Okay, check out this link, does he sound like a woman? This shit is ruff, son!


May 5, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

I am not a M&M fan. Except for the peanut butter ones. This set of photo booth pics has a much more....fuck you attitude? That damn Gumby is everywhere! I will be near Lancaster PA this time next week! Yay for vacations!

cool pic @csp

May 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkari

@kari: To Vacations!

May 6, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

It's a shame how they ruined Times Square. I liked it better when it was overrun with freaks and losers. Same thing with Brooklyn. Now they're yuppifying Queens and the Bronx too. Hell, even Jersey City has gone that way. Is there no place left for scumbags? Well, there's always Newark, I suppose.

May 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDogNose

@DogNose: We'll always have Newark. Shit!

May 7, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>