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April 26, 2011

Okay, I’m really hungover tired tonight and so I’m skipping the Papaya Wars for a week (that applause you hear is coming from Miami...who could it be?) and I’m just going to do a random quickity blickity blog tonight. I’ve decided to go to Penn Station again. I know I went there last week, but it’s always full of people and a good majority of the shops and stores are open all night long. So it’s a good place to get some decent shots and then get home and try out my new keyboard. If the blog is blank tomorrow, you’ll know it didn’t work.

Easter Sunday at Mars Bar: Priceless.

New keyboard and mouse after drunkenly spilling a 16 ounce beer all over them after you got home: $106.

Here we are, Penn Station.

And here's some asshole that just pushed by me to walk down the escalator...

Because apparently there was just no room for him on the stairs. Asshole!

Wow, it's kind of empty in here. Is everyone on spring break?

Let's see what's happening at Duane Reade.

What a difference a week makes. Stock up for next year. Let's go see if the cards section have cleaned up their act.

Lyndon Johnson humor? What, are in 1965 or what?

Now that's just wrong! Let's get out of here!

Too bad this is closed, I'm wondering if they have Curly fries in here.

Well, well, well...look what I stumbled upon.

They've got beer in here!

Hair of the dog, Lloyd!

And speaking of dogs...well it is Monday night after all. Goodnight everybody and see you tomorrow after dark.

And now, a short film: Click here to go to film.

Further reading: Amtrak, Wikipedia, NYC.com and Cafe Press.

You might also like: Sean Penn, Penn and Teller and Pens.

Four Hangover Cures

My makeup is dry and it cracks round the chin,
I’m drowning my sorrows in whiskey and gin.



Bonus Photo!

Ace photographer Jefferson Siegel sent in this photo from the Mars Bar festivities on Sunday. About 14 beers later and my keyboard would be history. Great to meet you Jeff and thanks for sending in the photo!

Reader Comments (38)

That must be me,,,,hi from Miami,,,,Al the Papaya dog hater, but today I was pleasantly distracted by Jack Nicholson ordering "hair of the dog" in the Shining. Then I was totally into the educational film about the mechanisms of escalators and the safety features,,,I am probably going to be the only loon that actually saw the whole thing. That cake at Mars,,,,it took a great deal of abuse there, then graffiti and punk rock plus a few hippies, that was Mars,,so the cake became Mars.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAl

@Al: Nope, I watched it too! Great shot of you at the Mars Bar, looks like you were well on your way! LOL!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarfly

That's a big ass beer at Papaya ! Is that like 24oz ? how much ??

and ... I can't believe Forbes has a hangover cure article ! my cure is simple -- drink a good amount of water before going to bed - take some vitamins (especially a B complex) -- get a good sleep ..... repeat in the morning ..... and you'll fell like $999,873 in the morning !

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGENE

“I bet Lydon Johnson’s asshole smelled like out of date barbecue sauce”

Only Lady Bird knew for sure.

On a related note: I would venture to guess; Lyndon’s Johnson smelled like Lady Bird.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHarry

@Al: That's my favorite scene from The Shining.

@Al & Barfly: I watched the escalator film about a dozen times. It's mesmerizing.

@GENE: It's at least 24 ounces, maybe 32. The beer and a dog is $5.50, a bargain! Thanks for the hangover cure, I'll try it before I visit Mars Bar next time!

@Harry: Ha ha ha! Good ones!

April 26, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

@Harry: LMFAO at your comment! Loved the cards, hope this becomes a regular feature!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrita r.

Hey, Marty, in the photo of you from the Mars Bar, what's your left hand doing? Looks like you were giving someone one of those universal hand-signals that cross cultural boundaries. Do you remember the context? (And by the way, you look like you'd already had about 14 beers by then ! )

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBruce Davis

@rita r: Harry's comment is a classic! And I'm sure I'll beat the card thing to death, like I do with everything!

@Bruce Davis: Ha ha ha! A friend of mine just tweeted about my hand in that photo. I have no idea what I was talking about (which is par for the course.) And if you think I looked wasted in that photo, you should've seen me after I spilled beer all over my keyboard! Hey, it was a Mars Bar day, what can you do?

April 26, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

Man, I'm sorry to hear about your computer...Mars is the Destroyer, after all.

I hope you bought that LBJ card!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGoggla

Yea i saw the pic and my first thought was what the fuck is marty doing with his hand.. never mind.. enjoy the new keyboard...

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGidgie

you can't cry over spilt beer but at that price i might make an exception...hoist one to harry for the laugh...the bonus photo was not as sweaty but maybe a little scarier...

Tomorrow it'll all be over, then I'll have to go back to selling pens again.
Johnny Depp


April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterraginrr

@Goggla: Thanks, it's back up and running now, I kind of needed a new keyboard anyway. And yes, I did buy the LBJ card. I just mailed it to Sarah Palin, that'll show her!

@Gidgie: Great minds think alike!

@rr: Scary indeed! And you're right, no crying over spilt beer! Great Johnny Depp quote! Thanks!

April 26, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

@ MAD; As for the gummer woman....you couldn't be more right, it COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG!!! And as for the photo heading the hangover list, when I first moved into my trailer 20 years ago, I left my door unlocked one night, woke up the next morning to fix myself a cup of coffee...and found one of those sleeping on my living room floor in a puddle of vomit. When I woke her up, she had no idea as to how she got there. Nither did I....honest.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJaws the Cabbie

Now I want a hot dog and an ice-cold beer!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermeleah rebeccah

A$$Møde: From photo; 7oz. burger, fries, 16 oz. "Drink" = $5.99.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercsp

@Jaws: Great story!

@Meleah: Me too!

@csp: That means soft drink, it's not a beer. I'm almost certain that the beers are 32 ounces, so one of those and a hot dog for $5.50 is a pretty good deal. Especially in Penn Station.

April 26, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs
Fuckin' up the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign.

sorry, was just being a dick.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercsp

Did you send a letter to Duane Reade ? Whats going on with the protest of those sick cards ?

@csp: Oh no, now that songs is stuck in my head!

@JHwang: I wrote to them and they wrote back and told me to go suck my grandmother's dick! It was frightening and horrible to receive a letter like that! They're truly harsh people over at the Duane Reade!

April 26, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

Death of a Clown!!!! The Kinks had the best clothes, & Dave Davies always looked so out of it. I seem to remember some sort of fight between him & Ray, stabbing each other with forks, over a plate of chips or something. The Kinks always evoke unbearably weepy nostalgic Englishness in me - Waterloo Sunset almost makes me jump right into the East River. They just get it, spot on. Yes, you do look pretty plastered!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteronemorefoldedsunset

Always wanted to do a Papaya dog but now the smell of Lyndon's ass is fucking with dream!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterProfessor Dungpie.

@onemorefoldedsunset: I love this song and the Kinks too! And I love the tales of the battling Davies brothers. I heard one where Ray Davies brought out Chrissie Hynde to sing on "Stop Your Sobbing" and Dave Davies promptly walked over, spit in her face and walked offstage! And if you think I look plastered in that shot, it got a lot worse. My last drink was a double vodka and orange juice and it was the one that could've sent me off to Bon Scott land!

@Professor Dungpie: I hear you! Ever since that card I've been obsessing over LBJ's barbecued asshole. It's not a good thing to be obsessed with, but I can't shake it. I think I need therapy.

April 26, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

@Clacky; Simply Austrailian offered big discounts on a lot of Aussie goodies and I took advantage today. I'm finally going to try some of those Tim-Tams you said were good...ordered some more Vegemite too...works great on beef (while I can still afford it that is)! Bought some other goodies as well.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJaws the Cabbie

hey, marty, how's it going? I was going to make a comment about the Cirque D'u Soleil (or however is that spelled) image on the stairs but, goddamn it, that was until I saw the size of that beer! What is that? 1 liter? How much for one of those? I'm still impressed. It would make my days thousand times better. If only I had those on the corner outside campus. I call that heaven. lol

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBambooska

Nice safety video. I feel better informed. I work with a Penn. From Pennsylvania. I'm glad I have never needed your MADList. Nice photo Jefferson!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkari

kari did you check the profile shot over at Nadie Se Conoce?...


April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterraginrr

rr, where or what is Nadie Se Conoce?

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkari

@Bambooska: Hi, nice to see you here! I think it's 32 ounces of beer and with a hotdog it's $5.50. If you ever get to New York, I'll buy you one!

@kari: Glad you enjoyed the safety movie. I'm just doing my civic duty! This is the link to what rr was referring to: http://twe.ly/kCjb

April 27, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

"those universal hand-signals that cross cultural boundaries" !! haha yeah right!
say "je m'en branle les couilles" doing that and it becomes a french one! (= I jack off my balls)

OK Marty , You Got Me 3 Times , twice with those fucking fake cards & once on sunday the 25 ,
Happy belated Birthday !!

@MAD: You look like you're calling someone a WANKER!!

April 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClacky.

Notice his left hand doing jerking motion .

oh , His doing the pee wee herman dance

@Zioum Zioum: That takes balls!

@JHwang: Thanks! And I think a lot of people were fooled by those cards!

@Clacky: I was just talking to myself!

April 27, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

Looks like you've got the beer sweats there, Marty. Which not only are less odiferous than the meat sweats, they are also more fun. Of course, if you combine meat and beer sweats, then you're golden. Literally. It's like you glow. Ask Professor Dungpie...he knows! Speaking of which, what the fuck is Honker's Ale? And why is the Aflac duck promoting it? When even a duck needs a second job to get by, you KNOW times are tough. Luckily, we have giant beers to take our minds off of things. Cheers, Marty! Now how's about a gummer.

April 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBiff

@Biff: "Now how's about a gummer." Ha ha ha! That's my new pick up line!

April 27, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

rr/marty, thanks for telling me about the other pics, they're great

April 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkari

@kari: No problem, Bob's a great photographer.

April 28, 2011 | Registered CommenterMarty After Dark

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